Let the record show that while Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has an aversion to dentists, she most certainly does NOT have a cavity between her front teeth! Upon further interrogation, it was ascertained that Farmer H was referring to the tiny gap between the upper edges of my two front teeth. A gap that is barely noticeable, or so I thought, that has been there since childhood, a tiny space through which I can suck air if I so desire, smaller than the graphite of a mechanical pencil. The 0.5 mm lead.
Anyhoo...Farmer H came home from town a couple days ago, and threw down receipts from CeilingReds, the feed store, and The Devil's Playground on my sacred section of the kitchen counter.
"WHAT? Now you've even been to The Devil's Playground? I can't keep up with your receipts!"
"I needed distilled water for my breather. And I got us some soda!"
He was so proud, our Farmer H, that he'd made a trip to the store and bought something for himself. Indeed, he'd even bought something for me! I swear! For a minute there, I was almost ready to treat him in a civil manner!
On the kitchen table, I could see the gallon of distilled water. Some Diet Mountain Dew that he'd gotten himself. Some new giant bottles of sparkling water that he's been looking for. And a six-pack of bottled soda for ME!
Do you notice anything wrong with this picture? I moved MY soda to a less-clutter spot for the photo. But there is a glaring problem here.
Perhaps this will help you ascertain:
Granted, the new packaging minimizes the word Diet. But that's no excuse! They look totally different. Diet Coke has always had the silver label! And real Coke the red.
"Why did you buy me REAL COKE???"
"Huh? That's not what you drink?"
"NO! I always drink DIET COKE! I go get one every day at The Gas Station Chicken Store. I buy bottles of it every week at The Devil's Playground, and set it on the table until I have a free hand to carry it downstairs."
"Oh. I thought you drank Coke."
"Only if it's left over. I get it for when the boys are here. We have some of it right now, downstairs, left over from Christmas!"
"Oh. Well. I thought that's what you drank."
Sometimes, I think Farmer H doesn't know me at all.
3 comments:
I think this is part of his "knock her off" program. A sugar high might see you trip going down the stairs or while getting in or out of T-Hoe.
I knew he'd bought the wrong coke before I even saw the picture.
Just set it aside for when the boys visit next and take yourself to The Devil's Playground.
Even I know you drink Diet Coke, but is it because of the calories or are you diabetic?
River,
See? I was pretty sure Farmer H had an agenda. And it's OBVIOUS by the color of the labels and caps that those bottles are not my regular elixir! I've already gotten the right stuff from The Devil. Not taking a chance on running out!
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fishducky,
I'm not diabetic, but Farmer H is. So you'd think he could pay attention to details like this!
I like the caffeine. I've never been a coffee drinker, but I DO like my Diet Coke. You can drink so much more of it than regular Coke, which is too SWEET and too filling.
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