SOMEBODY Needs A Visit From The Count

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street, and locate The Count? We are in desperate need of his services. Surely it wouldn't cost much to get him here. I assume he could turn into a bat and fly.

Wednesday was chugging along like a normal day. Farmer H went off to do whatever he does at 6:00 a.m. Around 10:00, I spent some time at the kitchen table on HIPPIE. While there, I saw my little Jack on the back porch. He's usually not there. He was traipsing along, sticking his head through the porch rail, looking out into the back woods, and then into the fake fish pond. The weather had turned chilly overnight. I thought he might be back there to soak up some morning sun.

Around 3:00, I was ready to leave for town. I opened the kitchen door to toss my banana peel off the back porch. That is usually a signal for Scarlett and Jack to come running around in anticipation of their "leaving" treat, a 1/4 slice of bread each. But this day, Scarlett did not appear. I proceeded to the side porch with an eager Jack. 

"Okay. I've got your treat. Where's Scarlett? She better come around, or you'll get HER treat, too!"

Jack wriggled agreeably as I tossed him his bread, and side-stepped down the stairs to the sidewalk.

"Well. I don't see Scarlett. So here, more for you!"

That's when I heard a scratching at the garage door. Maybe a slight whimper.

"OH NO! Did Dad shut Scarlett in the garage again???"

Jack is not a snitch. He busied himself eating Scarlett's treat. I opened the people door to the garage, and Scarlett ran out! Dang Farmer H! How hard is it to notice if a hyper Australian Shepherd is still in the garage when he closes the door?

Poor Scarlett missed her treat. But at least she was free. I gave her a quick pat and an apology, then went on about my business. Scarlett had been trapped in the garage since 6:00 a.m. when Farmer H left the Mansion after setting out their food. Nine hours is along time for a dog to be trapped in a garage. Poor Scarlett couldn't hold her morning pee. She had relieved herself in the front corner of the garage. Unfortunately, that large puddle had run down alongside T-Hoe! Right where I walk before climbing in.

I did not blame poor Scarlett. At least dog pee does not smell as foul as cat pee! I called Farmer H once I got T-Hoe down the driveway.

"You closed your dog in the garage again! How can you not notice?"

"I could have sworn she was on the porch when I left."

"No. She was in the garage. It was in the 20s last night. So she had to lay on that cold concrete floor for 9 HOURS!"

"At least she was out of the wind."

"But she didn't have the warm sunlight to lay in! AND she couldn't hold her pee that long, and I had to walk through it to get in my car."

"Huh. I'm on my way home right now."

Indeed. I passed Farmer H on the county blacktop road. When I got back, I saw his solution to the pee. He had swept leaves and dirt onto that stream. So instead of just stepping in a shallow stream of dog pee, I had to avoid tripping on uneven dirt and slippery leaves. I'm pretty sure Farmer H is trying to kill me. This time with dog pee!

Once in the Mansion, I asked Farmer H...

"How hard is it to count to TWO??? We have two dogs! Make sure they are both on the porch before you leave!"

"Scarlett was on the porch! I guess she went back in the garage when I put the lid back on the dog food bucket."

Yeah. When I get home and put groceries on the chair on the side porch, and go back to get my purse and water bottle out of T-Hoe, she runs back in. I know that. She is not invisible! Who doesn't know when their dog follows them into a garage? Especially a dog who ADORES you, and follows you wherever you go!

I don't think Farmer H even apologized to Scarlett. I guess he didn't see the need. She loves him SO MUCH! She probably holds ME responsible!