Wednesday, we went to the casino with The Pony. We left the Mansion at 9:30. It's a 90-minute drive. I was up at 5:45 a.m. to take my thyroid pill. Gotta let it do some work before taking my other meds. AND I wanted to get the initial peeing out of the way. It's not designed for that, but it makes all the hormones do their job, since I'm lacking all of my thyroid except a little scrap they left behind after surgery.
Anyhoo... we always stop by a McDonald's on the way, to pick up breakfast sandwiches around 10:00. Then on to the casino, where we have lunch at 1:00 or later.
THIS TIME, I really had to pee about halfway there. Usually I have no problem waiting. I don't take my blood pressure pill until about 10 minutes from the casino. But for some reason, by body was working ahead of schedule. I'd already peed about 2 gallons between 5:45 and 9:30.
Anyhoo... I'm an adult. Surely I could hold it until we arrived, and I hobbled across the lobby to the restrooms. I was looking at the mile markers, checking the clock. I knew that relief would come at 11:00. And that when the mile markers had counted down from 155 to 101, we'd hit the exit, with the casino being about 10 minutes away.
SWEET GUMMI MARY!
Farmer H was gawking off to the left, informing The Pony that there seemed to be a new hotel, or some building that wasn't there when we went to the casino about 3 months ago. I noticed we were at mile marker 101. Then we went across the overpass.
"Oh. I just missed my exit." Said that (alleged) wife-murderer Farmer H.
"I THOUGHT that exit looked familiar! What are you trying to do, kill me??? I told you 30 miles back that I REALLY have to pee! And now it will take even longer!"
"Only about five minutes more, Mom. It's the second exit now."
That exit was five more miles down the highway. THEN we had to drive through the business section of town. With 3-4 lanes of traffic on each side, instead of 2. With twice as many stoplights. It didn't help that Farmer H was continuing his tour, even though The Pony and I have been through this part of town with him before.
"Over there's the hospital where This Guy had his back surgery, and This Guy's Wife fell and broke her hip while going outside to smoke a cigarette. And I had to take care of getting their car back home..."
"Over here's where Mrs. HM peed her pants during Farmer H's longer detour to the casino..."
Well. It turned out to be a 15 MINUTE delay! AND, when I got inside, the cleaning lady was using the handicap stall that I prefer! So I had to use the semi-handicap stall next to it, which at least had some parallel bar thingies for me to perform a routine to get myself up off the throne.
I'm pretty sure Farmer H is trying to kill me...
4 comments:
I am SO glad you didn't burst like a faulty water balloon! I find it near to impossible to hold on at all some days. It depends on how many cups of hot milo (similar to ovaltine) I have, that stuff has sugar in it! It seems my bladder doesn't like sugary pee.
River,
I have no idea what triggered the impending deluge. I know how my body reacts to the meds every day, and adjusted my schedule accordingly. Mrs. HM plans, The Universe laughs.
Funny story here. My bladder seems to know if I am looking at the toilet while trying to get my pants down. I end up changing clothes. So, I looked into those panties with the liner that is guaranteed to soak up all my accidents. I ordered a pair online and based on the size chart I got 3X. I was thinking they would be really too big. I got them and I don't know if they would fit my granddaughter who wears a size 0 jeans! Since then I have found them everywhere and wear thm if I am going somewhere. That first pair still maks me laugh.
Kathy,
Heh, heh! Sizing is unreliable sometimes. If I thought I could find any to fit me, I would get some to have in case I've got a long drive on one of those constant-peeing days. I guess you need to stop looking at the toilet!
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