The dogs go about their usual routines, barking their fool heads off about a half hour after Farmer H leaves the Mansion. Mostly at neighbor dog Copper Jack, who comes over to spend the day in our yard. The sun has been out most days, good for dog napping where it shines on the porch. Good for melting off the snow, and then parts of the ice layered on the porch rails and roof.
Since I've been here constantly, without my town respite, I have noticed lots of THUMPING. I figured it was just Scarlett and Pupsie, romping around on the front porch, slamming into the wall, knocking over some of Farmer H's ceramic doodads. That's usually where I hear the thumping. Front of the house. And when I'm having my nap, I hear it on the BARn end of the porch, right outside my bedroom.
I mentioned the noise to Farmer H Tuesday evening. He agree that he had also been hearing those thumps. I said maybe it might be ice breaking up on the roof? Or the house settling as the temperature drops, contracting the materials? He agreed that it might be.
"It might have something to do with my big metal wagon wheel [Yikes! Just heard a thump as I typed that!] that I put on the front porch last week."
Anyhoo... I hear those thumps throughout the day. They're just a little startling. I don't want to think that the Mansion is falling apart.
Even though I haven't been to town since Sunday, I still take my afternoon shower. Farmer H said what's the point, since I'm not going anywhere. I could understand skipping a day here or there, but I don't like putting clean socks on dirty feet, or clean underwear on a less-than-fresh ample rumpus. I AM perfectly willing to wear my same comfy sweatpants and sweatshirt day after day.
Anyhoo... let's discuss my shower routine. Our master bathroom has kind of an "L" shape. Entering, there's the sink and mirrored cabinet on the right, and a walk-in closet on the left. Straight ahead is the big triangle tub. A 45-degree left turn takes you to the toilet and shower corner. Imagine yourself sitting upon my throne. Your back is to the front porch. Shower on your right. Triangle tub on your left. It's a nice roomy bathroom.
Sitting on the edge of the tub is a roll of toilet paper. There's a holder on the wall straight ahead of the toilet, but Farmer H never puts the paper on there. He's the one who mostly uses this bathroom, while I use the one between the boys' rooms. When I'm getting ready for a shower, I lay my clothes over the front edge of the tub. My socks on the edge with the TP, though not near it, but over by the faucets for the tub water.
My routine is to take a shower, dry off on the rug halfway between shower and sink, in front of the big triangle tub. Then hang up my towel on the wall rack, go to the sink, comb my hair while looking in the mirror, then go back to sit on the throne while putting lotion on my legs, socks on my feet, then pulling on my pants before standing, so I don't have to try and balance on my knees one at a time.
Here's the deal. While I was in the shower Tuesday evening around 4:30, I heard a thump. Sounded like it was right outside on the front porch. In the area of the pew that sits under the octagon window over the toilet, but also in the area of the metal wagon wheel Farmer H just attached to that corner of the front porch. It still sounded like it could be dogs thumping to me. I thought nothing of it.
Shower done, I went about my routine. I was at the sink combing my not-so-lovely lady-mullet when I heard another thump. It seemed louder, and startled me. It was in the same area as the other one. Not a big deal. I turned to approach the throne for lotioning and dressing purposes, and saw
THE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BIG TRIANGLE TUB!
What in the Not-Heaven?
How can a roll of toilet paper jump off the side of the tub? It was in the normal place when I got out of the shower. I wasn't near it while drying off. We didn't have an earthquake. A roll of toilet paper should not make a loud thump.
I haven't told The Pony yet. The Pony, who several times saw items shoot across the room while soaking in the big triangle tub. Farmer H pooh-poohs my tale, saying that's impossible. I agree. It IS impossible. With the regular laws of physics in our 3-D world.
6 comments:
That is spooky! We tried to escape the storm looming in our future and headed south to see the daughter and meet the new grand-dog, then decided to be tourists in Florida. St. Augustine. The weather was absolutely gorgeous at my daughter's house. Shirtsleeve weather. We went to a flea market, grand-dog Bowie was with us. He is the biggest French Bulldog I have ever seen. He is waiting to be neutered next week as he has shown some aggression toward the great grand-dog, Bruno. Bruno is a normal sized Frenchie. Anyway, we took our dogs to the beach and I was so cold!! Mr. BoJangles loves sand between his toes! I have now witnessed a dog skipping!! He was so happy. Toni Louise was happy just because her master had hold of her leash. Eddie liked it, too, but was more dignified than Bo. The weather got progressively worse, and we left yesterday, driving through snow covered terrain in Florida and South Georgia. No snow here and our roads are clear. I am happy to be home!
Were any parts of your (haunted) mansion built with recycled materials? Maybe boards that had once been in a fancy hotel where not-nice happenings occured? I would have a whole team of people out there investigating in all weathers to discover where the thumps are and what is causing them. Houses aren't supposed to "speak" to you.
Kathy,
Only you could go south to avoid snow, and end up in a snowstorm! Good to hear that your fur babies enjoyed the beach.
River,
As far as I remember, the Mansion was built with new materials. Farmer H didn't have his collection of recycled items back then. He lived in an apartment, then my $17,000 house in town.
I have not heard a single thump today! Temps in the low 30s, ice still on the gravel road and carport and sidewalk. The last time we had such a festival of thumps, it was INSIDE the Mansion, right after my dad died. The Mansion was only a few months old. We moved in just before The Pony was born.
Anyhoo... the thumps kept me awake at night. They were all over the house. Basement, living room, kitchen. Farmer H said it was too soon for the Mansion to be settling. Coincidentally, two days after the thumping started, my mom found out my dad's headstone had been put on the wrong grave! The cemetery moved it, and the thumping stopped. Just a coincidence, right?
Well then, you now have to find out why your Dad is thumping again and what to do to fix that.
River,
I have not heard another thump! What in the Not-Heaven??? How could it happen multiple times a day, and then stop all at once, without tapering off? I guess whatever the problem was, it got fixed!
You never know when the slightest thing will disrupt your timing, and keep you out of an accident. Maybe that's what it was. A distraction to delay me on my eventual trip to town, keeping me off the ice when I might have encountered another car there. Or a reckless driver over the center line. You never know. The act of typing up the story, the time telling The Pony about it on our morning phone call... anything can alter my route by a few crucial seconds and avert a catastrophe.
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