Sunday, September 11, 2011

No Exceptions Without A Doctor's Note

Well, gosh. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has to have rules. Otherwise, her classroom would be a touchy-feely, I'm-OK-you're-OK, anything goes, anarchy-driven, free-for-all.

It's not a complicated rule. No Beverages in the Classroom. Simple, no? That means don't bring anything to drink into the classroom. No soda, no milk, no water, no Gatorade, no Powerade, no liquid at all in any kind of container.

I looked up last week to see a young lass chugging a bottle of water like she was a finalist in the water-drinking equivalent of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. A regular agua-imbibing Kobayashi was she. So intent on her world-class guzzling in plain sight was the little gal that she did not notice me giving her the stink-eye. Nor was she aware that the class had fallen silent, eagerly anticipating a showdown to rival Alien vs. Predator.

AquaMaam gulped her last swallow, wiped her lips with the back of her wrist, and turned to look at me. "What?"

"You are not supposed to bring water into the classroom. Go throw it away."

Then, the kicker. "But I'm thirsty."

"I'm sorry you are thirsty. You might have noticed that I allow people who ask me to go get a drink. But I do not allow them to bring water into the room."

She threw away her water bottle. And hopefully learned a lesson about Tough Love.

Seriously. But I'm thirsty? Like that would make me change my rule that has been in effect for the last...oh...I don't know...length of time that I have been teaching! Perhaps assuming that such a rule was only in place for people who tried to bring in water when they were not at all thirsty.

Next thing you know, there's going to be a petition for students to look at each other's answers during a test, because I only wanted to see what she put down for her answer.


Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

That sounds exactly like something my two year old would say. Sometimes if I tell him he can't have candy, his answer is something along the lines of, "But I love it." Well no crap, kiddo. The answer's still no.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Just before first bell this morning, a student came up to me and said, "Can I have part of 1st Hour off?" Seriously. The kid's in 9th grade! What pressing previous engagement can she possibly have, an interview with Matt Lauer?

I think I'll go ask the principal if I can have part of 1st Hour off.

labbie1 said...

"I think i'll go ask the principal if I can have part of 1st Hour off."

OHMYGOSH! I just snorted coffee through my nose! LOL

But I'm thirsty!!!! Oh geez! Slap...

Hillbilly Mom said...

I'm sure, in retrospect, each student would agree that her statement was not quite the wisest thing to say. In about 20 years!