Is the information superhighway like a regular highway? Does too much traffic clog it up? Make getting from one place to another slow? Anybody? Should I put in an email to Al Gore?
I'm having a devil of a time navigating the innernets today. I am
picturing a huge traffic jam. Like when city residents tried to escape
in their vehicles in The Stand, or in Deep Impact. Like everybody trying
to go to the beach on a holiday weekend. Only I see people in their
dark, cool, basement lairs with a day off from work, frittering away
time in front of the monitor. Kids battling anonymous opponents in multi-player computer games. Women
Maybe it's too hot for folks to be celebrating the birth of our
nation. Half the country is sweltering. The ground is tinderbox dry.
Even in places where it's legal to set off fireworks, that's a really
bad idea. The sun is beating down without mercy, roasting swimmers in
their pools, lakes, and lazy rivers. Perhaps people can't afford to
throw a big barbecue. Can't afford gas to travel. Can't risk dehydrating themselves with demon rum, or even Milwaukee's Best. Can't afford a trip to the emergency room if they incur a heat stroke while cranking the old-timey ice cream maker. The holiday falls in
the middle of the week. No three-day weekend. So in my mind, I see folks
lazing away a hot summer day. Staying out of the sun. Clogging up my
Surely that's the cause of my connectivity problem. It couldn't be my own personal internet service. No way.