Monday, July 23, 2012

Yummy Yummy Yummy I've Got THIS In My Tummy

Sweet Gummi Mary!

That is the Mrs. Hillbilly Mom equivalent of the OMG! that the youth of today are typing as fast as their furious little fingers can fly. Hope that last reference doesn't put me on any kind of conspiratorial collection of folks who need minding. My exclamation refers to the uncanny form of the religious icon that appeared in a mound of Gummi Bears about to be consumed by one of my students. Just in case you haven't been around long enough to remember that little tale.

The reason for my exuberance is the discovery of a new favorite snack. Don't everyone run for their recipe cards. We're at the Hillbilly Mansion, you know. Not on the set of Chopped. I'm not trying to become the Next Food Network Star. In fact, it's not even a recipe. Nothing made by moi. And you can bet that it's not healthy.

C'mon, let's not even pretend. Mrs. HM is not one to be politically correct or highfalutin for the sake of putting on a good appearance. No organically grown alfalfa sprouts or arugula. You know that means they are fertilized with poop or dead fish, right? No beef from a steer that lived his life in a hammock, being massaged hourly, given beer to assuage his thirst. No free-range chicken hearts on a skewer to cook on a hot rock at your table, with a saffron and gold-flake infused sauce for dipping. No. My new favorite snack is store-boughten. From Save A Lot.

HERR'S FIRE ROASTED SWEET CORN ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED POTATO CHIPS

They are SO good! I know. With a description like that, you'd think I'd be an upscale restaurant food critic with my own show. Or at least the new Rachael Ray. But I'm not. So I'll try to get the word out a few people at a time. Because I want to make sure this product sticks around. Get it stocked at The Devil's Playground. Because the problem with Save A Lot is that some merchandise is here today, gone tomorrow. Thus the fate of the #1 son's new favorite, Herr's Buffalo Wings Rippled Potato Chips. They have disappeared from the face of the earth. Or at least from the Greater Hillmomba Area Save A Lot.

But let's get back to MY chips. They taste like buttery corn-on-the-cob. That's kind of healthy, right? Butter comes from cows, making it dairy, which is one of the major food groups. And corn is a vegetable. And so are potatoes! So, in effect, you're getting TWO vegetables and dairy from a serving of Herr's Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips. We can forget about that artificially flavored part. I'm sure they just put it on the front of the bag so regular people would know that this is still a great snack food. Not just a health food.

Excuse me. I've got some crunching to do.

3 comments:

Sioux said...

And since probably there is some form of sugar in those chips, and since sugar comes from a plant, that makes another vegetable serving.

Eat a whole bag, and dip the chips in hummus (protein) and you've got all the nutrients you need in one day.

Ba-zinga!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am intrigued. Today is my escape day and I may just have to pick up a bag of this treat. You know, for my health.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Funny you should mention sugar. The boys refused to eat them because, "They are too sweet."

I'm all for eating the whole bag, but I see no need to drag hummus into this. Hummus can hang out his own shingle on Health Food Boulevard.

*************
Kathy,
I hope you got some. But stay away from the Herr's Kansas City Prime Steak Flavored Potato Chips. Not good. The Pony likes them, though. Because they mainly taste like salt.