Thursday, September 26, 2013

A Bit Morbid, Perhaps

Sweet Gummi Mary! I am lucky to be here this evening, and not locked up for vehicular mayhem.

In one short trip this afternoon, The Pony and I encountered:

* Two dudes walking in the oncoming lane, facing traffic, necessitating our veerage onto the shoulder to avoid a head-on collision with traffic avoiding them.

* An inline-skater wheeling up the middle of the oncoming traffic lane, necessitating the slamming-on of T-Hoe's brakes and subsequent airbornness of a Starlight peppermint and a strawberry Starburst while traffic came to a standstill to honk at the skater until two lanes could pass.

* A compact car that came to a complete stop in the middle of our lane to motion another car to pull out of a parking lot in front of it.

* A roadwalker in our lane, facing us, who appeared as we crested a two-lane blacktop hill.

* An oncoming pickup truck that refused to get over to his edge, running us off the side of our narrow county road.

As The Pony says, "It's a good thing you're not allowed to carry a gun." I don't think I need one. The future corpses are lining up to get in front of me and my T-Hoe.


Sioux said...

Maybe they've heard (erroneously) that the anthologies that carry your stories are "breathtaking" and they want the author of those stories to take their final breath away?

Hillbilly Mom said...

I'm sure that's it. Plus, they want to give me the final gift of a STORY to carry on their legacy.