Sunday, September 14, 2014

Hydration Libation

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has been off the 44 oz. Diet Cokes since her unfortunate hospitalization at the end of the school year. Cold turkey. No headache or anything. So she decided to give up that magical elixir for a while. Water has always been her go-to beverage anyway. But all water and no flavor make Mrs. Hillbilly Mom a dull gal. So every now and then she treats herself to a new vice: Hi C Poppin' Pink Lemonade.

Now don't go thinkin' Mrs. HM swills 44 oz. of that syrupy goodness. Laws, NO! M-O-O-N. That spells Mrs. HM has 52 oz. of the pink stuff...but the cup is full of crushed ice. So whatever pink lemonade goes in can only fill up the space between the ice chunks. Then that cup sits all day and marinates and hydrates Mrs. Hillbilly Mom with water from the melted ice, as well as the lemonade part.

I have looked high and low for Hi C Pink Lemonade in can or bottle form, so I can make it at home. The only place I can find a reasonable facsimile is Voice of the Village, where I can get a 20 oz. bottle of Minute Maid Pink Lemonade. What's the point of that? Because if I'm going to Voice of the Village, I might as well get the 52 oz. fountain Hi C Poppin' Pink Lemonade.

The Devil's Playground has the next best thing, which is powdered Country Time Pink Lemonade. It's almost as good, with a tiny dash of Sprite left over from The Pony. But yesterday, at Save A Lot, I found a giant jug of pink lemonade! The brand escapes me at the moment. Nothing I'd ever heard of before. I got two giant jugs. Heh, heh. I said two giant jugs!

Today I made my own drink with crushed ice from Frig. Thing is, the #1 son was home for the afternoon, and he saw me get out the jug of pink lemonade, and declared that he would like some. Let the record show that he was in the middle of cooking up a batch of photo developer on my stove at the time, and had just cautioned me that I did not want to be making my drink right there beside him on the counter, because that chemical was in powdered form, and was settling all around.

"Here. I'll make it on the cutting block."

"Can I have some of that?"

"Sure, but don't grab it by the lid, because your hands have chemicals on them."

"Duh. Like I don't know that." #1 walked around the cutting block and grabbed the jug of pink lemonade. By the cap. With his chemically hands. "I'm going to drink it right out of the bottle. My main purpose for coming home these days is just to set you off."

"You can drink it any way you like, because now you've touched the lid just like I told you not to, so that whole thing is yours. I don't want it back. I have another jug."

"Doh! I did, didn't I! Oh, well." He unscrewed the top and chugged some pink lemonade. "That's not very good."

"I know. But I'm adding some powdered Country Time, and a little spoon of sugar. That should do it."

"I'm going to add sugar, too!" #1 made a beeline for the sugar canister. He shook up his jug. Took another chug. "That's way better! I put TWO tablespoons in there!"

"I don't care. It's yours now."

That was just as well, because #1 had already told me he was kicking my pink lemonade out of Frig so he could set his gallon jug of film developer in there to cool off. He carried his new pink drink with him as he worked on various projects. As he gathered some things to take back, I asked if he was taking his lemonade.

"No. It's really not very good. I've been sipping on it all day."

Oh, well. At least he got some fluids. He's in the middle of a cold that has run rampant through the dorm. He probably couldn't even taste the lemonade.

The fun was in trying to sour me with his antics.


Kathy's Klothesline said...

There will come time when the genius will have a child of his very own. That child will grow in his image and annoy him endlessly, much to your delight. And that is what we call pay-back!

Sioux said...

Oh, but there are many, many ways to get back at him. It could be as simple as gushing over your "precious baby boy" and showering him with kisses in front of his friends.

Dish it up cold...

Hillbilly Mom said...

I hope the child payback comes faster than a student loan payback!

I've always liked the spit bath approach in front of friends.