Saturday, September 27, 2014

Oh, The NEWmanity!

A major disaster befell Mrs. Hillbilly Mom this morning as she rushed to town for supplies to darken her lovely lady mullet, having no coloring kit in the Mansion, and no tea bags, either, as suggested by a blog buddy who does not mind smelling like a lunch time beverage as long as no silver threads weave through her tasteful coiffure.

Of course on the way back from a brief dance with The Devil, I felt entitled to a giant beverage suitable for sipping all the live-long day. After all, I picked up breakfast for The Pony at Hardee's, and some Sunday supper fixin's for Farmer H at Save A Lot. So it was without guilt that I turned T-Hoe into Voice of the Village for my new favorite elixir, a 52 oz. Hi-C Pink Lemonade Drink.

The Voice of the Village looked unkempt. That's not like them. Along the sidewalk down at the end where I parked was a long table of some sort. And a rack of propane tanks all padlocked in a metal shelf contraption. Past the door, on the other end, were various items on shelves under the window. I figured they were having a fall sidewalk sale. I grabbed my clear 52 ounce refill cup, and 80 cents, and went inside.

REE! REE! REE! Doody-doo-doo, doody-doo-doo!

Something was very rotten in Backroads! The whole place was different. I would not have been shocked to see Rod Serling step out from behind a rack holding a microphone, even though he's been dead all these years. Just inside the double doors, back against the front wall, was a clear donut locker. The snack racks no longer ran diagonally across the natural rock floor. They were side to side. I had a clear path to the soda fountain. AND IT WAS DIFFERENT, TOO!

Gone was the 80-cent refill sign. And the clear 52 ounce cups. And the lids for the 52 ounce cups. In fact, all the cups were different, blue and white foam cups, all the same shape, but in varying sizes, butted out of the round holes along the sides of the soda fountain. But the most shocking difference was the soda fountain itself.


Dang! What's a Hillbilly Mom to do? I filled my 52 ounce clear cup with crushed ice and went to the counter. Nope. I was not buying a bottle of Minute Maid Pink Lemonade. The not-heaven with these folks! Nobody wants their changes! Let them cater to strangers fresh off the interstate. My business will go elsewhere.

Subway across the street has my Hi-C on their soda fountain. Something tells me they will not welcome my 52 ounce clear cup refill attempt. I need to see how much their largest cup costs.


Sioux said...

Some changes are good. When Kramer widened the lanes, that was a good thing.

When Elaine changed her mind about that awful-looking black dress (a dress that apparently ONLY looked good in the dressing room), that was a good thing.

When kenny Rogers changed via plastic surgery, that was a--oops, I've gone too far.

Hillbilly Mom said...

But many changes are not good. Like when Jerry shaved his chest for that girlfriend. And hired that guy to put cabinets in his kitchen.

Like when George changed the uniforms of the Yankees from polyester to cotton.

Even Dolly Parton would not recognize Kenny now. She would let him float right past that island in the stream.