Friday, March 20, 2015

HM's Buttocks Ain't Safe In A House Full Of Men

Sweet Gummi Mary! Who do you have to know around this Mansion to get a sit-down on the toilet without wetting your cheeks?

This evening Farmer H and The Pony were getting ready to go pre-bowl because of The Pony's Scholar Bowl tournament tomorrow. I was in the kitchen, not eating bread and honey as some of you might surmise, but reading the mail and clearing the counter. I declared a brief respite, and headed to the master bathroom to use the facilities.

ACK! Something wet greeted my derriere! That was not pleasant.

I came out of the bathroom to find Farmer H ensconced on the short couch. "Why is the toilet seat all wet?"

"I didn't know the toilet seat WAS wet."

"So you don't know anything about it?"

"No. I don't know anything about the toilet seat being wet. I wiped it off. Just in case. Because I went to the bathroom, but I didn't get anything on the seat."

"Yeah. You AND The Pony don't know anything about toilet seats being wet. Funny how that same thing happened to me downstairs last night."

"Well, that Pony gets it all over the place!"

"I do not! I always wipe off the seat, too!"


So many men...such short--


Sioux said...

He who excuses himself accuses himself. The comment, "I wiped it off. Just in case," is the proof he's guilty.

Everyone knows no adult male wipes off the seat. Just in case. Because it is ALWAYS the case, but they NEVER wipe the seat.

There ARE ways to get revenge...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I hate that. I hate it so bad, I threatened to make them sit to pee! I heard my son tell his friend that if he wanted to use the bathroom at our house, he better aim right or sit! I do have a reputation ....

Hillbilly Mom said...

Indeed. I don't know who they think they're foolin'.

Maybe you can drop in to give Farmer H a stern talking-to. The Pony is much easier to intimidate. And a worse liar, if that's possible.