Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Is About To Release Her Inner Nancy Kerrigan

Sweet Gummi Mary! Something has gone horribly wrong with the PEEPS!

Have you tried them this year? I mean, any of you who have kids, and have done some early Easter Bunny shopping, and bought a pack, and they accidentally ripped open, so you tried one of those green blue bunny PEEPS, and it didn't quite taste right, so you tried another one, and then another just to make sure, and then just one more to complete a row, but your test was inconclusive, so you ripped off another, which left part of a row, so you finished that off, and saw there was only one row left, which was hardly worth keeping, so you made it a part of your test as well.

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THE PEEPS?

Usually the bunny PEEPS are just right. So soft. So sweet. With just the right texture, a bit rough, a tiny crunch of sugar when chewing their marshmallowy goodness. BUT NOT NOW! It's like the PEEPS have undergone a makeover. And nobody is telling us about it. They are too thin-skinned now. The PEEPS, not the makers who are withholding information. Try one. Or more. The sugar is like a spray-on tan. Thin. No crystals.Whereas the PEEP used to feel grainy and coarse, like manly man's skin after playing a rousing game of beach volleyball...it now feels soft as a baby's bottom. I DON'T WANT TO CHOMP INTO A BABY'S BOTTOM!

Yes, indeed. Something has gone amiss with this year's bunny PEEPS. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody is counting our calories for us. Or saving money on the cost of sugar or shipping. If only a PEEPS aficionado had a PEEP or two left over from last year's stash, under the sink, maybe, letting them harden like I've heard some folks enjoy them, and could compare this year's batch to last year's.

Something is rotten in the state of JustBorn.

Which doesn't mean that I will stop eating PEEPS.

4 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

They do seem to have some brilliant colors, but I haven't bought peeps in years. No kids here and I would just eat them all, a package at a time and I already seem to be wearing a float devise around middle. I do like to let mine get a little stale, just like I like my Red Vines.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
These PEEPS are faulty, I tell you! Maybe you should get some, just to test them for me.

Sioux said...

I heard you can do fun things with Peeps. Put a couple in the microwave--facing each other--and start up the microwave. They will "duel" each other.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
That's enough, Madam! No need to promote violence with delicious sweet treats for the holiday.