Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The Hound Of Hillmombaville Strikes Again

You're not gonna believe what that dastardly neighbor poodle did THIS time!

Only yesterday, we drove up the gravel road minding our own business. There was a white car ahead of us. Not feeding us, making us eat the dust. Too moist for that right now. But we kept a reasonable distance. That white car went past the neighbor driveway. Then ours. Poodle stood at the end of her own driveway. Turned her head and watched that white car. Then, as we approached, Poodle ran at T-Hoe and JUMPED AT THE DRIVER'S DOOR!

WTF?

What kind of dog does that? A devil dog, that's what kind of dog does that. Poodle twisted way as we passed. I don't know what she had planned. To jump through my window? Crash into the side of the car? It was freaky and a bit disturbing. I swear. That poodle made no effort to go after the car in front of us, then zeroed in on T-Hoe and dive-bombed us.

Today, The Pony and I were prepared. We had stopped by the mailbox, and had to wait on a white truck to get its mail and get way from EmBee. Then we caught up to it. Just like that white car. I told The Pony I did not want that poodle jumping at me again. But alas, I had forgotten to buy my SuperSoaker. I picked up an old water bottle, one-third full.

"I am going to be ready, Pony. If Poodle jumps at me today, I am dashing it with this water."

"Why don't you just throw the bottle at it?"

"Because then it would have the bottle to carry around and chew on, and it would have my scent!"

"Oh. I'll pour this leftover Sprite on it."

"Here. Take the lid off my water so it's ready. Wait until it rushes. I'm putting my window down. I hope it doesn't jump in."

"Here. It's ready."

"We'll see if it chases that white truck."

We were almost there. The white truck in front of us slowed. Wove around the potholes on the road in front of the BARn field. AND TURNED INTO THE POODLE'S DRIVEWAY! It was our neighbor, the owner of Poodle.

Foiled again!

"Darn it! We were ready, too! Loaded for bear!"

"Uh huh. Armed to the teeth."

Of course Poodle was nowhere to be seen. Acting the angel for her owner.

We'll get her one of these days.

4 comments:

Sioux said...

Perhaps you can make sure your two dogs are safely put away, entice the poodle onto your property, and let that poodle have it.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Have...a nice day? A Coke and a smile? Have it her way?

OH! I'm pickin' up what you're layin' down! That seems so...so...premeditated!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Vinegar, spray that dog with vinegar!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I hear it's good for lightening those dark stains poodles get around their weeping eyes. So I'll be doing it a favor, really...