Tuesday, December 1, 2015

There Are Tooters, There Are Darn Tooters, And There Are Explosive Diarrhears

No. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom ain't braggin'.

Let the record show that she created the most exquisite seven-layer-salad ever whipped up in a Hillbilly Mansion for the Thanksgiving feast. Here's the evidence:

Okay. So that's not the ACTUAL Thanksgiving seven-layer-salad. That's the seven-layer-salad made three days after Thanksgiving. Because the original was just SO good!

Let the record further show that you may not count exactly seven layers in this delicious salad. That's because of the lighting. Yeah. Perhaps not. Mrs. HM took some liberties with her seven-layer-salad. So it might have nine layers. But it has seven ingredients! Even if the boiled eggs were put in two different layers, and the peas, too. Oh, and maybe Mrs. HM didn't concentrate so much on getting an even spread of each layer all the way to the edge of the bowl. Because a salad is for eating, right? Not for admiring. It's not like that salad is going to be around long enough to hang in an art gallery. This one barely escaped the fork long enough to have this picture snapped.

Mmm. Seven-layer-salad.

You know the thing with seven-layer-salads? They have a lot of peas. Normally, Mrs. HM hates peas. That's because her daddy made her sit at the kitchen table in their trailer-house when she was only a little future Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, sit at that kitchen table in the dark, even after the opening audience questions from the Carol Burnett show, until she ate all of the peas on her plate from supper at 5:00. She just really didn't like peas. And you know what? They taste even worse after they've been cooling on your plate for four hours.

Anyhoo...Mrs. HM can only stand peas if they're cold and fresh, like in a seven-layer-salad. Or if they're cooked inside a pot pie. And funny thing is, Mrs. HM also made a turkey pot pie with her leftover bird. So for supper last night (and tonight) she and Farmer H enjoyed a double dose of peas. When they normally go for 11 months or more without eating any peas at all.

Perhaps Mrs. Hillbilly Mom and Farmer H should tear a page out of The Pony's first-day-of-school playbook...when he wore two pairs of underwear.

Which is a whole 'nother story.


Sioux said...

That is a big salad.

I want credit for the big salad.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Well...that depends. Are you the one who paid for it, or the one who handed it to me?