I think it has been established that you know the Hot Dog Man. Yes, you know the Hot Dog Man. Who lives in Hillmomba.
So what follows will come as no surprise to you.
Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has been up to the ying-yang in errands this week. Depositing cash for the credit card payment, depositing the insurance check for our new metal roof, depositing the monthly savings for The Pony's college fund, mailing the #1 son's package back to him, mailing #1 his weekly letter and $6 for Chinese food, providing the insurance agent with the serial # of the new Acadia/the #1 son's updated transcript for the good student discount/The Pony's drivers license proof, picking up prescriptions, paying tax and getting license for the new Acadia, shopping at The Devil's Playground, and picking up a 44 oz Diet Coke every day.
You might imagine that by the time Mrs. HM sits down with her lunch at 3:00 p.m., she is in no mood to cook supper at 4:30.
Let the record show that she offered. Yes she did. She offered to make Farmer H some beanie weenies with Maple Bacon Beans and Li'l Smokies. She offered to make chicken wings. She offered to make Farmer H his choice of items out of Frig II's freezer. And let the record further show that Farmer H had at his fingertips the leftover ham, potato salad, 7-layer salad, rolls, and a cheese assortment from Christmas dinner. In addition, there was another of his favorites, bologna. And a brand-spankin'-new unopened package each of Oberle sausage, Oberle cheese, and Ritz crackers. And two different varieties of The Devil's Playground flatbread pizza, pepperoni and a southwest chicken, that only take 15 minutes to cook.
No. Farmer H made it a point to stalk down the basement steps, interrupting The Pony and Mrs. HM, who were engrossed in an episode of Survivor: Pearl Islands (the one with Rupert!) that The Pony received for Christmas. Stalked down those steps just to tell Mrs. HM: "Those hot dogs were moldy. I threw them off the porch for the dogs."
"Well, they HAVE been in the refrigerator for over six weeks. Opened. So you should have known they were not good. Did you find something to eat?"
"I had ham."
I really don't know why I bother to cook at all.