Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, Agape Avenger

I was almost a superhero today. Almost. Had every intention of being one, despite my creaky knees and advanced age and generally apathetic attitude.

I was leaving Save A Lot. I had only stopped for a few items. Some onions, but they were out of the white onions, so I didn't get any. A pizza to bake at home, but all they had were pepperoni, so I didn't get one. Some curly fries, because Farmer H really likes them, and plain potato chips with ridges, for the same reason. I also threw in two boxes of PEEPS, the pink bunny kind, because that's what was available. And a pack of paper plates, because we're running out.

So...I didn't have many items, so I didn't need a box like I usually put my purchases in at Save A Lot. I had three bags slung over my arm, and pushed the cart back to the rack, so nobody would have to bring it back in from the parking lot. Because I'm selfless like that.

The carts are parked at the entrance, near the produce section. A man with a cart was having a short maybe-argument with an older-teen/early-twenties boy/man. I couldn't tell if it was a real argument, or just loud manspeak. So I minded my own business. But while I was doing just that, the boy/man announced,

"OKAY! So I'll meet you in the car!"

He started out the door. Nothing to see here, right? Even though I was looking, because I was turning around, having parked my cart, and was headed out the door my own self.

The boy/man was clutching a four-pack of paper towels under his arm!

Whoa! Wait a gosh-darn minute! He was heading for the door! With PAPER TOWELS under his arm! I thought surely he was going to go past me, up the unopen checkout the wrong way, and get in line to pay. But he didn't! That boy/man was hoofin' it toward the doors! I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open as I stared.

Um! Hey! Uh! Shouldn't somebody be watching this guy? And stop him? Before he shoplifted a four-pack of paper towels, and whatever else he had in his other hand? But nobody was running after him! They weren't even looking! Should I do something? Maybe holler, "HEY! Did you forget something?" Or, "STOP!" Or run over to get a checker's attention? Or try to get in front of him and prevent him from leaving?

Oh...never mind.

As he turned to go out the automatic door, I saw that Boy/Man had a yellow bag looped over his other arm. A bag from the Dollar Store next door. He'd obviously bought that stuff in there, and stepped inside Save A Lot with his purchases. I've done the same thing before, rather than take the Dollar Store purchases back to T-Hoe when it was raining. I guess Boy/Man just wanted to let the older guy know where he'd be waiting.

Sometimes, I'm glad my reaction time is slow, or I'd have a Not-Heaven of a predicament to get myself out of.


River said...

I've read about PEEPS several times now and I think I'm correct assuming they are food, but what exactly are they? I need a picture too.

Hillbilly Mom said...

They are AMBROSIA! Tender marshmallow in the shape of a bunny, coated with sugar in a variety of colors! I will show you the pink ones, next post.