Time for another chat about the birds and the bees. Yesterday was the birds' turn. Their poop, anyway. Today it's the bees. Or the MURDER HORNETS!
A couple days ago, I stopped by the mailbox before heading to town. The day was warm. Low 70s, making my air conditioning a little ineffective, it not knowing whether to cool or suck in outside air. I put down T-Hoe's passenger window, and the one behind me. Just a crack, to get a cross-current, and not mess up my lovely lady-mullet. Which was NOT covered with a bonnet. Good thing!
As I started up the blacktop hill toward town, a BUG zoomed at me! Sweet Gummi Mary! Was that a MURDER HORNET? They've been all over the news! Was I going to be murdered right there behind the wheel? Before I even had one sip of my daily 44 oz Diet Coke?
I didn't hear buzzing. It didn't SEEM that big. Not three inches, like the news says. Maybe I'd live to sip again. But one thing for sure. I did NOT want that beast in T-Hoe with me. I had a bad crash due to a bee in my car, you know. Rolled that car three times down the middle of Highway 8, ten miles outside of Steelville, Missouri. That was a bumble bee. A car-totaler bee, not a MURDER HORNET. I suppose it could have been a Manslaughter Bee, had I perished.
Anyhoo... every time I'd glimpse this intruder out of the corner of my eye, butting against a window, I'd put that window down. I'll be ding-dang-donged it it didn't fly AWAY from an open window! That's totally uncharacteristic car-insect behavior! Maybe that thing was RABID!
Every time I stopped in town, I tried to give it an exit. I must have confused it by putting down all the windows at the Gas Station Chicken Store. Because I didn't see it after that. Hope it's not hiding under the seat...
Good thing it wasn't really a MURDER HORNET! I don't want to be on the news.
6 comments:
You rolled a car? Three times? Over a bee?
You are lucky when driving, and lucky when buying lottery tickets. How many lives have you lived so far?
Sioux,
Yes I did. Not proud. I am INDEED lucky. That will have to be a separate post, now that I am counting up my lives.
Just don't go looking under the seats.
River,
You don't have to tell me twice!
I hear tell they are still hovering in the state of Washington on the west coast, having escaped from Alaska. It is beginning to sound like the book of Revelations!!
Kathy,
Don't forget those grasshoppers/locusts eating the crops somewhere overseas. I can't even guess where it was. No siree, Bob! Considering that I didn't know ENGLAND IS AN ISLAND until a couple years ago...
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