"Looks like I'll need to buy butter when I go to the store this week."
"That's a LOT of butter!"
"I hope you're not digging a hole to China in that butter again."
"Actually, it's not butter. It's not very good."
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! We are elderly people, on a fixed income! Get used to it!"
"I always buy REAL butter."
"You're living a millionaire lifestyle on pauper wages! Don't forget that your salary for job-searching is $20 per week! AND I might have to dock your pay if you continue to 'help' me in the kitchen. My plastic measuring cup is still sitting there, since I can't wash dishes in the morning because of no hot water, and I can't wash dishes after supper because of no hot water."
"That's another thing. I'm going to see how much our electric bill has gone up in the month you've been home."
"Face it, Pony. You're stuck in a real-life commercial where those people are turning into their elderly parents. You just don't know you're turning into us yet."
A fleeting mask of sadness crossed The Pony's face. Then he dipped my short Pioneer Woman ceramic knife into the tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter that he had carried to set beside his plate on the living room coffee table. As he brought his knife-scoop of ICBINB from tub to plate, the blob FELL OFF ON THE KEYBOARD OF HIS LAPTOP.
Let the record show that The Pony does not have a cheap HIPPIE like mine. He has a quality laptop with a large screen for gaming, and the guts to perform any graphy formula desires of a chemical engineering student.
I slapped my hands over my face. OH, THE TECHMANITY! I snuck little peeks by flapping open my hand-shutters, as The Pony scrapped the not-quite-believeable butter off his laptop. THEN I saw that it had NOT landed on the flat part that acts as a mouse, but ON THE KEYS THEMSELVES!
"TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED! I need my safe space!"
"You have me laughing so hard I can't pick it up!"
"Now you are getting a job target in your file!"
Sweet Gummi Mary! The Pony has grown wild after 4 years out of the home paddock. He'll have to be broken all over again.