Up ahead of me in Save A Lot was a man and woman who did that thing where they just happen to appear on every aisle you go to! Almost like it's been choreographed. Like we're linked with an invisible chain. Started in the produce, and continued to the dairy, meat, and frozen food aisles.
The thing that brought them to my attention was their masks. Nobody wears them around here. So right off, they were on my radar. The man had a full beard, too. Not peeking out from his mask, but enough that it didn't fit tightly. It was cloth, I think. A black mask. Which must be manly.
The thing that KEPT them on my radar was his cough. That's right. I said COUGH! That bearded dude had a cough! He didn't hack continually. Just let out a COUGH, singular, at almost every section where he stopped the cart. I'm glad I wasn't buying meat. He was there long enough to do it several times. Oh, he wasn't leaning over, trying to contaminate it or anything. But even I would stay home if I had a cough.
Here's the part that gave me the heebie-jeebies. When I got back to T-Hoe, and was backing out of my parking space, I saw that the car across from me had yellow NEW YORK license plates! Of course I assumed that car belonged to Bearded Dude! Like the clerk at the Gas Station Chicken Store said about a lady with Illinois plates last week: "STAY IN YOUR OWN STATE!" Not to her face, of course.
I flipped out again over at Country Mart. I was at the short register on the end. I'd been waiting behind the tape marks in line. Not crowding. Keeping over six feet away if you count my cart. A dude in the line to my left looked like he was going to dart over in front of me! He only had one item, but I was not feeling charitable! He had one customer ahead of him in his line, same as I did in mine. But he was crowding in on her. I guess he took that gap in front of me as an invitation.
Anyhoo...that's not even the dude who creeped me out! As I was picking up my last bag, and putting my debit card in the reader, an Old Bald Man came in the front double doors. He made a beeline for my area. Walked so close behind me that I think my lovely lady-mullet waved in his wake.
Old Bald Man stood RIGHT BESIDE ME! I swear, he could have put his hand in my pocket, he was so close. I even gave him the stinkeye, like, "DUDE! What in the Not-Heaven?" He was not pickin' up what I was layin' down! When the cashier gave me my receipt, he blurted, "I need two Marlboro hard packs." They keep them behind the counter at that register.
Some people need to stay At-Home-Downed.
5 comments:
I was in line to get into Aldi's yesterday, and a (very young) grandmother and her two grandkids were behind me. I gave more than 6 feet between myself and the man in front of me. This grandmother (she didn't have a mask, and neither did her grandkids) was about 2-3 feet behind me. I kept looking back at her. (She was on the phone.) Finally, she got the hint, because she told her grandkids to stay back. It wasn't THEM. It was her!
Can't people use common sense and manners and medical suggestions?
Sioux,
The lack of a mask doesn't bother me, unless a person is obviously sick, with coughing and sneezing. The crowding DOES bother me! Keep your cooties back 6 feet from me, please!
TWO vehicles almost hit me today, on the lettered county highway into town. Coming right down the middle of the road! Not just a tire over the center line. HALF THE VEHICLE over the center line! I can only surmise that they were the freaks who wear a mask inside their own car, while driving alone, and were lacking oxygen to the brain...
I understand you being leery of anyone with a cough, but (BUT) not every one who coughs is contagious. I'm coughing and throat clearing a LOT, almost all the time, because of my asthma and hayfever, so I'd say don't worry as long as they keep their distance and don't look pale and sweaty or feverish.
The space invader Marlboro man needs someone to step backwards right onto his toes. Heavily with an "accidental" elbow bash to the ribs as the back stepper pretends to lose balance.
I, too, am alarmed/confused by people who are driving around with a mask on. What is swirling around in their car that they need protection from? Is the mask some weird status symbol?
It just gets weirder and weirder...
River,
I agree, because I clear my throat a lot, and sometimes emit a cough. Rules for thee but not for me! Of course I don't think I should stay home, or wear a mask!
That Marlboro man was a ne'er-do-well. I could feel waves of ne'er-do-well-ness emanating from him!
***
Sioux,
I KNOW! The solo car-driving, mask-wearing freaks! The masks aren't protecting THEM from anything, and there are no passengers to protect! They're cutting down their oxygen supply for no reason.
According to one of my conspiracy theories (I'm a conspiracy theory aficionado, you know) the mask-wearing is part of a worldwide ritual conjured by the elites, unknown to the panicked mask-wearers.
It kind of ties in with the dancing nurses in numerous countries (if they're actually nurses and not actors), which was a theme in England's opening Olympic ceremony. Which included nurses pushing around hospital beds with children on them. Very creepy, if you haven't seen it. Not saying I believe all that, but this was not an Olympic ceremony that I would have conceived. Not at all joyous and uplifting, but rather gloomy and doomy.
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