Saturday, March 24, 2018

Sad Realizations #1 and 2, By Mrs. Hillbilly Mom

Sad Realization #1: You know you're getting old...when you hurt your back putting on a sock. Not even a tight sock. Just leaning over the piano bench, your leg bent and left foot hoisted upon it, pulling the sock over your heel, when something in your back twangs. Right under the shoulder blade area.

Sure, it wasn't as bad as Farmer H tearing his bicep while wiping his butt. I don't have a swollen mass on my back, like Farmer H's Popeye arm. I'm not Popback. It hurt like the dickens, though, as I walked around the Mansion getting ready to head to the post office. And while sitting on T-Hoe's heated seat, driving there. The pain has gradually diminished through the day.

I actually made a mental note when the twanging occurred. Because I knew later I'd be all worried about why my back was hurting. Like when I had the blood clots in my lung, I had a sharp pain like that. But this happened instantly. So I knew it was just something muscular. Heh, heh. Something muscular, in reference to Mrs. HM's body. That's a good one!

Sad Realization #2 is that DISH Network has been pulling the wool over Mrs. HM's rheumy cataracted eyes for several years now.

Every month, I am conscientious about not using too much internet. I don't know what it's measured in. Assbites or something. I have 10 mega assbites during regular normal time, and another 10 mega assbites during off time. That's from 2:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. I never used to use my off-assbites. But since Genius set my phone to update itself, now I use up about 5% or less of my allotted off-assbites every month.

A couple of times, when the boys were home, we went over on regular ass-bites. Not by much, but our provider at the time charged us extra. Quite a bit extra. Since we switched our internet from Sprint to DISH Network, there is no overage charge. They do, however, THROTTLE YOU until the next time period starts. Mine happens to reset at midnight on the 24th of each month. I do fine not going over. I check it every day, and usually have an assbitefest on the night before the resetting, trying to use up what I've paid for.

This month, I didn't check my usage daily. I watched a little more YouTube than usual. And on the 20th, as I went upstairs to bed at 3:30 a.m., I got an email from DISH telling me that I'd used up 100% of my assbites for the month. OH, NOOOO! I knew I'd still have internet. But I was kind of worried about the slowdown.

I CAN'T EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCE!

Seriously! My pages load at the same rate. My YouTube videos might or might not catch up to the loading bar thingy if I don't pause it for a few seconds. But it has not been an inconvenience at all! You can bet I'm not gonna be so careful from now on! If I want to watch something, I'll watch it.

They can't put that on my permanent record, can they?

4 comments:

River said...

I have similar back troubles, left over from a bad sprain back in 1986. Every now and then I'll do something too fast or without thinking first and spend the next day sitting with a hot water bottle between my back and the chair.
You may find your internet is just as fast, but are they charging you extra because you already used up the allowance?
I got annoyed with always running out of allowance, so now I pay for 50GB on time and 50GB off time. I rarely use the off time, usually I'm asleep, but sometimes I get on there and surf the real estate pages.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
No, DISH does not charge extra, just "slows" the speed until your time period is up. When we had Sprint, the plan charged for overages. It wasn't a problem until the boys got new phones that Genius didn't "jailbreak," so when they were home, they used it, too. In the good old days, they both had unlimited internet if they did it through their phones, thanks to Genius's ingenuity.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Right below the shoulder blade hurts so bad! Last time I did that, I couldn't even get a good breath! We have unlimited usage on our Sprint plan. I would be hard put to keep up with our usage.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I'm really glad I recovered from that one quickly. I'm not even sure that Sprint offered us unlimited usage. With both boys, we could have used up as much as a whole campground, so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have paid for it anyway.