The Mysterious Case Of The Key In The Mailbox

You might recall that just before BirthdayPalooza, I was having trouble getting one of The Pony's gifts. Namely, a lava lamp.

It was coming down to the wire. Wednesday, Feb. 20, I had a bit of hope. I found a key in EmBee! Right there inside the door, on EmBee's metal bottom, in front of the stack of crammed mail. I know EmBee is not as girthy as her traditionally-shaped neighbors, but there's plenty of room inside her, if you curl the stack of mail over. Even a wide envelope fits comfortably in her diameter. I think our mailman doesn't even try. Just jams all the odd ads in with neither rhyme nor reason.

Yes, I was excited by that key, because we were leaving the very next day, and this was the next-to-last chance to acquire the long-awaited lava lamp! Funny how this key wasn't on the hard plastic see-through keyring that goes to the four lock boxes the USPS has erected at the end of Mailbox Row. In fact, all four of those lock boxes still had keys stuck in them, our mailman having not harvested them after the last use. I figured maybe there was a problem with the keys. This one was different, but those lock boxes have another key slot at the bottom, which I figure the mailman uses to open them for depositing packages.

I took my new key, and practically skipped over to the lock boxes. I tried that key in all four slots. Huh. It went in, but it wouldn't turn. Not in any of the four. Well. That was a curious turn of events. What WAS this key? It was bigger than the regular keys. Flatter. No grooves along the sides, but curvy parts that mirrored each other on both sides. Huh.

I went on to town, but I called Farmer H to explain my predicament.

"I might have a package, The Pony's lava lamp. I've been expecting it forever. But the key in the mailbox doesn't fit the lock boxes. So I'm not sure what it is. It was in OUR mailbox. I left it there. I should have brought it to town, to ask the post office."

"I'm at my Storage Unit. I'll run home and get it, and see if it works." Farmer H called me back not much later. "I tried the key, but it didn't work. It almost looks like a car key, but it's too flimsy."

"Could it be a 4-wheeler key? Maybe HOS (Farmer H's Oldest Son) found the key he lost, and put it in our mailbox. He knows which one is ours."

An hour later, Farmer H called me back. "HOS said he didn't put it in there. So I took it to the post office, and the lady said it wasn't theirs. The best she could think of, Blackwell had an ad with keys attached. A lot of people have been asking about keys."

AHA! Mystery solved!

The flimsy metal keys had been stuck to the picture of the car, with that clear sticky stuff that stretches and peels off. I guess it wasn't sticky enough, or else the mailman was too rough with the ad. Farmer H actually took this flier to the dealer to try it, and was supposed to get a $5 gift card for his trouble, but the salesman told him the guy bringing the gift cards wasn't there yet, so Farmer H gave up.

I guess the key was for scratching that little car. We didn't even try that part. I might, just to know. As Farmer H says, most people throw these away, and the dealer likely won't have to award any of the big prizes. Even if he does, he surely has an insurance policy that will cover such an event.

Oh, the lava lamp arrived on Feb. 21! We purposely planned to leave after the mail arrived, or by 10:30. At 10:15, I drove down to check, and it wasn't there yet. So I drove up the road a bit just in case I saw the mailman. And I did! I came back and told Farmer H to turn everything off, and we hopped in already-loaded A-Cad to hit the road for BirthdayPalooza. A quick stop by EmBee revealed a key to the lock boxes, and we got the package that was The Pony's lava lamp.

Five minutes after he plugged it in, the bulb burned out. Farmer H says those bulbs are easy to replace. The Pony will be looking for one on his next trip to the store.