Contributing To The Delinquency Of A Farmer

The Pony and I were putting the finishing touches on our Christmas dinner spread, waiting for the Sister Schubert's rolls to come out of the oven, and setting out the roasted vegetables and baked beans. Farmer H was out on the side porch, tending GassyG Jr with the steaks and pork steaks.

"Pony, go see if Dad has a tray to put the meat on. And ask if he wants a drink. I bought limes yesterday. I can add some lime juice to his Wild Turkey and Diet Coke."

"Okay. I think he already took a tray out. There's one missing. But I'll go ask... Yeah, he has the tray, and he says he'll take a drink."

"Get me a Solo cup. He's not having one of the GOOD glasses out on the porch!"

Pony took the drink to Farmer H. He's a big help, WHEN HE'S HERE! He took the rolls out of the oven and buttered the tops. Set the table. Put out the potato salad and deviled eggs on the counter. Farmer H came in bearing the tray of sizzling meat. He had his plate filled and was digging in before I even picked up my plate.

As we sat at the table enjoying our feast, talking about Pony House and Pony Job, Farmer H poured his Diet Mountain Dew from the bottle he'd had outside into a GOOD glass with ice provided by The Pony. It was then that he let it slip that he had WILD TURKEY in his Mountain Dew.

"Wait a minute, Dad! You mean you let us make you a drink, and you already HAD a drink? How did you get it in the bottle of Mountain Dew?"

"I just poured it in from the bottle."

"Um. That's not how it works. The mouth of the bottle is not the right size to do that."

"But I did it! I just drank a little of the soda out, so I'd have room."

"I guess now I'll have to assume you're drinking, every time you have a bottle of soda!"

"Nah. I just did it to take outside."

By the end of the meal, Farmer H had changed his plans of going for a drive after eating.

"I don't think I'd better be driving ANYWHERE right now. I'll just go sit in my chair and watch something on TV."

Yeah. Good idea. He found a show on The Discovery Channel that he'd never seen before. It was having a marathon. I even liked it! Some British show called The Repair Shop. They fix broken keepsakes for people. Here's a 4-minute clip, but it's not one of the episodes we saw.

Let the record show that both Farmer H and The Pony sat at the table with me until I was finished eating! It took a LONG time, but they had dessert, and got carried away chatting about plans for Pony House.