Sunday, June 11, 2023

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Elucidate

A couple weeks ago, I got a bargain at Country Mart. An actual bargain, not just them marking down one of their outrageous prices and calling it a "sale," while cost was still above what one would normally pay elsewhere.

There was a display of Frito-Lay products, the large "party size" bags, priced 3-for-$10. The regular price for each bag was $6.99. Of course I bought three. I rarely buy brand-name chips from Country Mart, because of the high prices. I got a bag of Ruffles, a bag of Fritos Scoops, and a bag of Tostitos Scoops. Farmer H loves Ruffles potato chips. Me, not so much. I'm a plain Lays gal, and even prefer the generic brands.

Anyhoo... I set the plastic grocery bag of the three varieties in the pantry. Last week, I got out the Tostitos Scoops for Farmer H to have with the leftover taco meat. Made him a dip of that meat, shredded cheddar, diced onions, salsa, and sour cream. Then I had the same, but using the Fritos Scoops. It was delicious.

Anyhoo... Friday night I fried some generic Spam for Farmer H to make sandwiches. He likes it with yellow mustard and sliced onion, on Nutty Oat Bread. I reminded him that there were Ruffles in the pantry. He got out the bag, and I snipped off the top with scissors, even though he wanted to try and rip it open. He's getting arthritis pretty bad, and has trouble gripping. I could imagine what a mess he would make of the top of that bag, most likely getting a rip down the side.

Anyhoo... on Saturday morning, (meaning NOON:15), I opened up the pantry to get a box of expired brownie mix that The Pony didn't take with him when he moved out. There on the bottom of the pantry was the plastic grocery bag that had held the Ruffles.

That's right. Farmer H grabbed the Ruffles bag, and shook it until the plastic grocery bag fell off, leaving that plastic grocery bag, which had just become TRASH, behind on the floor of the pantry. Well! You can imagine the topic of This Is The Time Of Day We Discuss The Most Recent Think You've Done Wrong.

"Hey! "You left the plastic bag on the floor of the pantry when you got out the chips!"

"Huh."

"So you left trash in the pantry for me to pick up."

Silence.

"No normal person would do that!"

Silence.

"Do you think that's normal behavior?"

Silence.

"DO YOU THINK THAT'S NORMAL BEHAVIOR?"

Silence.

"I don't hear you..."

Silence.

"Either you are admitting you are not normal, or you're deliberately not-answering, which makes you a rumpushole."

"I'm not a rumpushole, HM."

Okay. It's settled. Farmer H is not normal. 

A normal person would have apologized. Perhaps adding, "I'll get it when I come in the kitchen." No effort on Farmer H's part to remedy the act of not-normalness. Which I think still qualifies him as a rumpushole.

4 comments:

River said...

"Farmer H is not normal."
We knew that, but this shaking the bag off and then just leaving it is beyond the usual.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
It's almost as if he's too lazy to take four steps and throw away a plastic bag...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Sounds normal to me ..... I can picture HeWho doing the same thing. He will put an empty ice cream carton IN THE SINK. Does he think I am suddenly saving ice cream cartons and lovingly wash them by hand? And .... he would not have to make any steps to the trashcan, just turn his body!!! Lazy is just not a strong enough word!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
It starts when they're babies, and we pick up after them, while little girl babies become our "helpers." Or else see the writing on the wall, and realize they're doomed to a life of cleaning up after men!