Yesterday I stopped by a different Save A Lot that the one I regularly frequent, in order to pick up milk and bananas. It was on the way home from my mom's house, where we'd been working at clearing out some stuff. As I pulled into the parking space, Farmer H called me.
I left T-Hoe running so The Pony (seated in the front due to piles of stuff in the back) and I wouldn't overheat. While I was talking to Farmer H, T-Hoe started to sway. It was like we were in that movie 2012, and a fissure had opened up right under us, so severely did we shake.
"WHAT was THAT?"
"Mmm...oooeeeooo." Which I think means "I don't know" in Pony.
The swaying diminished. I turned to look out The Pony's side of T-Hoe, and saw a lady (let the record show that I use the term loosely) getting into her big white sedan, which was parked adjacent to us.
THAT WITCH HAD SLAMMED HER DOOR SO HARD INTO T-HOE'S SIDE THAT IT MADE HIM SHAKE! With ME inside!
I put the windows down on the passenger side. I can do that, you know. I have supreme power over T-Hoe.
"WHAT IS MAKING OUR CAR SHAKE? OH! THAT LADY SLAMMED HER DOOR INTO US!"
Let the record show that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom was not playin'. She WANTED that witch to hear her statement. The witch folded her long legs and accordioned into her driver's seat. She must have already loaded her broom into the back seat.
I threw her the stinkeye and held my gaze. She had the audacity to look right through T-Hoe's open windows. It's a good thing she couldn't see all the way into my soul. I stared her down until she broke. Or until she started backing up out of her parking space.
One of these days, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's mouth is going to write one too many checks for her butt to cash.
2 comments:
You should have gotten her insurance info!!
Well, that. And made The Pony fling open his door for payback, since he was actually riding shotgun that day, with a huge Tahoe front door at his disposal.
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