The Booty Ain't Picky

The temperature in the garage was 109 when The Pony and I climbed into T-Hoe for a drive to my mom's house. It was a mere 95 when we pulled into her driveway to meet my sister the ex-mayor's wife. Sis and I both left our windows down. Sweet Gummi Mary! The heat index was 110.

From 4:00 to 6:30, we cleaned out the hall closet, a curio cabinet, and sorted through stuff sitting behind the furniture and along the wall. Not a lot there. Mom was no hoarder. But Farmer H kept buying her glass cake plates with lids, even after she told him she had enough. More than enough. So some things would not fit into her china cabinet, and had to sit behind a wing chair or a ceramic cherub holding a bird bath on his head. Hey! My grandma took up ceramics late in life. She loved giving gifts.

As we loaded up our respective SUVs to leave, I heard Sis jawing with The Pony. "How were we supposed to know? It was bright and sunny when we got here! Now I'm going to be in trouble!"

Seems an unforecast rain shower had passed over. T-Hoe's seats were wet, too. We both have leather. Mine are black, and I think hers are gray. Lucky we had approximately 57 ShamWOWs laying on T-Hoe's back passenger seat from the last time we cleaned out a room. I locked the front door of the house and met them in the driveway.

"Here, Mom. Your seat got wet, too."

I took the proffered ShamWOW and rubbed T-Hoe the right way. I wiped down the door panel where the window switches and door locks and mirror control had accrued droplets. Then I handed the ShamWOW back to The Pony, who wiped off the shotgun seat. Not that he was riding there. He was sitting behind me again. We backed out of the driveway.

"Make sure you spread that out to dry. My butt is still wet. Did you give Sis a ShamWOW to wipe down her seats?"

"Uh huh. That was the one you were using. She gave it back after she dried her seats."

"You mean we have some of Sis's butt on our butts?"

"No. Just you. My seat was dry."

"Great. Part of Sis's butt is on my butt!"

"Technically, you also have some of the ex-mayor's butt on your butt. He drives that car, too, you know."

"ACK! It's getting worse by the minute!"

"The booty ain't picky."

Yeah. Those are The Pony's words of wisdom for today.