Sunday, September 20, 2015

A Mysterious Symptom...Or IS It?

I think I have discovered a new affliction.

As you may recall, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom was sick as a dog yesterday, and weak as a kitten. She hauled her dragging butt to Urgent Care, and received a Z-pack for a sinus infection. After the first double-dose of that Z-pack, her nose was not exactly looking up. First a lot of yellow snot blew out and hacked up. Then the blowing and hacking continued, with less and less yellow tint. The amount of coughing slowed by about 15%, not great, but better than the old rate.

I could still not sleep. Instead of about 2 hours at a time, I was only able to lay and cough and sometimes slumber for an hour. Then up to the bathroom. To sit for 10 minutes and let the snot recollect itself wherever gravity wanted it to go. Back to bed in another position. Up to reconfigure mucus. At most, I might have gotten four hours of sleep.

That darned Robitussin did nothing but make my throat and ears hurt. I would rename it Thanksfornothin'.

This morning, I still had a case of the coughs, but the nose issues had decreased by half. Here's something I want to know, from all the worldly non-prescription-cough-medicine imbibers who have been denied the real thing:

Is projectile peeing a symptom of coughing up a sinus infection?

Because let me tell you, at the risk of divulging too much I sat on the toilet letting the snot in my head realign itself, I think I experienced several bouts of projectile peeing during assorted fits of coughing. I am shocked that my ribs did not open up like an umbrella, my head did not explode, and my eyes did not bug out like one of those squeezy rubber dolls.

Let the record show that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's internal water pressure during a coughing fit would be rivaled by a top-of-the-line pressure washer.


Sioux said...

Maybe you could hook up with Kramer's showerhead guy...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Yes, low-flow might be the way to go. As long as I don't hook up with his Russian cable-TV installers, or his electrician named Slippery Pete, or his friend Bob Sacamano.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I always rush to the bathroom when I feel a fit of coughing coming on. Otherwise I would be changing my bloomers!