Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Are There No Public Toilets In The Afterlife?

This morning I finished making the lunches, took my medicine, and headed for the shower. Wait. What was that? A noise. From the end of the Mansion by The Pony's bedroom. It sounded like water running. It WAS! I stepped out of the kitchen, past the ice-making grunts of Frig II, and heard it more clearly.

The water was running in the boys' bathroom, as if the toilet tank was filling.

I supposed The Pony had gotten up to use the bathroom while I was making lunches. Even though he never gets up that early. I went on to the shower at the other end of the Mansion. When I came out for my morning chair nap, I woke Farmer H.

"Did you get up to go to the bathroom while I was making lunches?"


"You didn't go in the boys' bathroom?"

"No. I don't think so. Why would I go in there?"

"Sometimes you do. If I'm in ours. Or if I'm about to get ready."

"No. I didn't get up. Why?"

"I heard the water running in their toilet. I guess it was The Pony."

I went to the La-Z-Boy. Farmer H got in the shower. As I was trying to nod off, I heard the water running again. In the toilet tank. I turned my head. The door was wide open at the dark end of the house. Nobody was in there. Ten minutes later, it happened again. Farmer H came out of our bedroom to leave for work.

"You might want to check that toilet. I think there's something wrong with it."

"Huh." Farmer H went in there. "I don't hear anything." He jiggled the handle. Then he got his whole-grain waffle out of the freezer and put it in the toaster. I heard him go out the laundry room door to feed the dogs. The minute he went out, that toilet started running again. As soon as I hear him come in, I hollered.

"It's doing it again! The toilet is running!"

"Huh. I guess it is. I hear it now." Farmer H suddenly seemed more enthusiastic about seeking a solution to the problem. He went in and turned on the light, removed the lid to the tank. I heard him rattle the change in his pocket and take out his multi-tool knife thingy. I heard some knifey sounds on metal. Then he came back out. "I don't know what it is, but I adjusted the float. I'll check it again tonight. It won't hurt anything."

Indeed. He didn't believe me until he heard it with his own faulty ears. Like I would be lying about something like that.

I don't know what's going on around this place.


Sioux said...

The lady of the house knows nuthin'--didn't you know that?

Our job is to cook sometimes, clean occasionally, and wear pearls at our throat.

Get with the program, baby!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Is it not enough that I buy a pack of hot dogs every six months or so?