Consuelo Would Never Let Marcus Welby Treat Mrs. Hillbilly Mom This Way

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is careening down the road less traveled, quickly approaching the precipice overlooking the abyss of medical patient difficultness. She is thisclose to drawing eyebrows on her face with a Sharpie, to make sure all around her know she is angry.

After being left cooling her heels in the waiting room for over an hour this morning at her regular 6-month doctor's appointment, then insulted at the scale, nearly having an arm amputated by the blood pressure cuff because the nurse was distractedly talking about herself, stood up by the doctor for 15 minutes after he had already entered the exam room and made a quick exit to discuss billing procedures...Mrs. HM was mad as Not-Heaven, and not going to take it anymore. She decided to speak her mind.

Of course you know that didn't go well.

Here's the thing. Doc handed me the lab results and made his exit right after saying, "Your sugar's a little high." Well. On the lab results, it showed a fasting blood sugar of 105. I was under the impression that it was supposed to be between 80 and 100. That's what was on the lab sheet for normal values. Farmer H told me after his appointment that his doctor wants it between 90 and 120. Maybe that's just for him, because he's diabetic. Even though Farmer H swears that it's what his doctor wants in general, for anybody.

Anyhoo...105 does not seem all that high. Especially after reading last week that my thyroid med, levothyroxine, raises blood sugar! I spent my idle time stewing over this bit of info. Seems that it can raise the blood sugar level 10-15 points. Or milligrams per deciliter, or whatever they measure it in.

So...when Doc came back, I asked about it. Told him jokingly I knew it was true, because I read it on the internet. Even though it's in the side effects sheet they enclose with that medication. Doc pooh-poohed that information I handed him on a silver platter. He launched into a lecture on how the pancreas works secreting insulin, as if Mrs. HM, the biology teacher, had never heard of that.

That's the thing. Doc is a really good doctor when you're actually sick. But on regular checkups, he's kind of dismissive. You'd think he could operate better than an hour behind schedule, what with brushing off his patients' inquiries like that. Also, if I remember correctly, at my last appointment in April, that fasting blood sugar level was 110, and Doc commented, "That's barely out of range." So now that it was lower, he had to harp. What's up with that?

Anyhoo...Mrs. HM was so mad that she went right to Sonic after her appointment. It was, after all, 12:05 when she left the office. Past Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's regular school lunch time of 10:53. Her pancreas was getting angry, what with holding it its insulin for an extra hour and eight minutes. Yes, Mrs. HM went right to Sonic, ordered the hamburger combo with tater tots and a cherry Diet Coke, and drove on about her errands, popping a tater tot and sucking ketchup from a foil packet.

I guess I showed him!