Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A Situation That Might Shock You

After my 90-second consultation with the doctor nurse-practitioner at Monday's appointment, I went to The Devil's Playground in Bill Paying Town. Just when I thought I had figured out the location of my usual products in their wonky aisles (bottled water is found on THREE separate aisles) they switched things up.

You can't hide food from Mrs. Hillbilly Mom forever, though. It might have taken me a bit longer, but I found everything I needed except a pepperoni calzone from the deli. I guess they don't carry them at this particular Playground. So I had to stop by the regular Playground to get one for Farmer H's lunch. I was checking out there in Bill Paying Town, I saw that a maintenance man was working on the front door. The door that lets people out. This Playground has a little lobby between an outer sliding door and an inner sliding door. In the lobby are a change-counting machine, and a mechanical quarter horse which probably costs 50 cents these days, and a Red Box movie vending machine, and some things I don't remember, because I don't go there a lot, and I don't have kids with me that call my attention to such things.

Anyhoo...I knew it was a maintenance man, and not just some random weirdo who brought in his own ladder, because he was wearing gray Dickies work pants and work shirt. He was running a drill, and had something going on with either a mechanism that moved the doors, or a light-up exit sign. I don't know. I'm not good with details. If you're going to commit a crime, you might as well do it with me as the only witness, because you've got a pretty good chance of lying your way out of a conviction if I'm called to take the stand.

So...I noticed, as the young man who was very efficient was ringing up my purchases... that all the customers had to walk under this hanging wire to get out the door. The door was staying open, and not sliding closed, but right in the middle of the space to walk out of was a hanging wire, and that man on a ladder. Oh, if OSHA could have seen that set-up, heads would have rolled. But safely. Not under the feet of any customers.

I pushed my cart carefully, so I could get out the space of about a cart-width (good thing I've been making wise choices for the past year) and not touch that hanging wire. Who knows if it was live? One would hope NOT. But I didn't want to go all tweezers-against-the-side-of-the-compartment-in-a-game-of OPERATION!

I made it. But if I hadn't...Farmer H might have gotten some good shack-building money out of the settlement.


Sioux Roslawski said...

Yeah, he might have gotten a hefty settlement out of it, but imagine the pining away he would have done.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Well...after the initial elation over the settlement wore off, sure.

fishducky said...

How much do you figure your life is worth; to you or to Farmer H?

Hillbilly Mom said...

To me, it's worth millions. To him...probably enough to build a new shed, and supply him with hot dogs for a year.