After hearing the bed-turning in Genius's room on Saturday night, I didn't hear anything more. Just the normal dog stuff outside. It wasn't even a blip on my radar any more, until I went upstairs Sunday evening, to get my supper.
I was kind of running behind on my non-schedule, having not had lunch until almost 3:30. I'd picked up some GROCERY STORE CHICKEN (yes, I'm a traitor) at Country Mart, and I knew that Farmer H was home, and had already warmed his, and eaten. I hear a lot from my dark basement lair.
Anyhoo...the last I recalled, I'd heard Farmer H in his La-Z-Boy. I know he likes to watch that Alaska The Last Frontier show on Sunday nights. I figured that's what he was getting ready to do, when I went up after 7:00. I turned to look at the La-Z-Boy on my way up the steps. I was going to ask Farmer H about how his sickovirus was progressing, to know what was in store for myself, having caught it one week later than him.
Huh. No legs in the La-Z-Boy. Where WAS that guy when I was actually looking for him? Was he in the kitchen, maybe? Had I mis-heard the earlier supper noises? Very curious. I reached the top of the steps, and saw no glow of light from the master bedroom or bathroom. So he wasn't in there. Then again, I didn't hear anything from the kitchen. No microwave, FRIG II door, cabinet, silverware. Nothing.
Farmer H had not texted me from above, nor hollered down the stairs that he was going back outside. I hadn't heard the outer doors open or close. So I was pretty sure he was somewhere there in the Mansion. I headed for the kitchen.
As I reached the end of the banister that keeps people from falling into the rectangular hole where the steps go down to the basement, I looked left. The light was on in the boys' bathroom. The door wide open. But no Farmer H. I could plainly see the edge of the toilet. He was not sitting on it. There's no room to be anywhere else out of sight in there. It's a toilet on the right side, with a pedestal sink across from it, and a bathtub/shower enclosure against the far wall.
This was getting curiouser and curiouser. The doors to both of the boys' bedrooms were closed. No light showing underneath. Where WAS this guy?
"HEY! WHERE ARE YOU?"
"I'm in here."
"WHERE? Where is here?"
"In the boys bathroom."
"No you're not!"
"Uh huh. In the tub."
Oh, Sweet Gummi Mary! Horror of horrors! As I approached, I saw Farmer H's stubby feet, legs stretched to the end of the tub. His torso was behind the frosted shower doors, which were both pushed to the left. And there sat Farmer H, soaking in the tub,
NAKED!
Yeah. Tell me about YOUR creepy experiences. Finding a surprise, naked Farmer H has got to top them.
4 comments:
Why is this creepy? It would be more creepy if he had a body (not his own) soaking in there. Is this the only tub in the house? Perhaps that's his go-to-for-peace-and-quiet place? Unexpected for sure, but not creepy in my books.
I wish I had a tub.
River,
It's creepy to me because I couldn't see Farmer H. I knew he was in the house, and then I could hear him, but he was behind those frosted glass doors, sitting in the tub. THEN the FIRST thing I saw going closer was HIS FEET. You know I have a thing about feet. Just creepy to me.
He may be creepy, but at least he's now clean!!
fishducky,
Yes, there's that.
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