You never know which thread in life's rich tapestry is going to unravel for Mrs. HM on any given day. If you were a betting person, though, you'd pick a Farmer H thread.
Thursday evening, I was minding my own business, responding to a text from The Pony about his very healthy grades this semester, when I was jolted out of my bliss by sounds from above. My dark basement lair sits right under the master bathroom, you know. I'd subconsciously noticed that Farmer H stumped his seemingly footless ankles across the tile. Didn't think much about it.
I heard the toilet flush. Then a THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP! Like when the toilet brush is knocked against the rim of the toilet, after scrubbing, to get the water droplets out. I'd just cleaned that toilet yesterday, so I couldn't imagine Farmer H, who never cleans the toilet, doing it today.
Oh. Maybe it was the sound of the plunger being knocked against the rim of the toilet. Shaking (hopefully just) water off the plunger. Then the toilet flushed again.
I had just commenced a text to Farmer H to investigate when I became aware that my dark lair was brighter than usual. I turned and saw that the fluorescent light in my office, the one in the corner directly under the toilet, which has been (supposedly) burnt out for many months, was glowing like it had two new bulbs! Let the record show that my dark basement lair has four such light panels, three of which have been burnt out for months.
If you are the squeamish type, you may not want to read on...
"What's going on up there? Did you clog the toilet? You thumped so hard that one of my lights came back on!"
"No I hah to pup twice" [That's unedited]
"Well, the light under the toilet is on now, and I definitely heard thumping."
"Just me walking had to hurry back for second pup" [Also unedited]
"Huh. Sounded like you tapping something on the side of the toilet."
"Turds plopping in I guess"
"Dang! They must have shot out like cannon balls!"
No way was that tapping the sound of...um...excrement! It was a definite rhythmic tapping. I'm pretty sure Farmer H is just shining me on. Gaslighting me about the tapping.
I kind of got even, though. That story tomorrow.
3 comments:
Farmer H sounds like an expert at gaslighting!!
Those lights suddenly working without being fixed is weird. Farmer H is more weird, but I'll focus on the lights.
fishducky,
Yes, I'm starting to think blog buddy Sioux was right. She's the first one who suggested gaslighting. I was in denial for a while.
***
River,
Even weirder, I turned them off when I left my lair, and since then, that light has not come back on!
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