Last week, T-Hoe and I were happily rolling along, over the moat, from The Gas Station Chicken Store to the parking lot of CeilingReds (Farmer H's pharmacy), to Casey's. I was jamming to something on the radio, perhaps Eric Clapton's "Promises." Something mellow.
As I turned onto the Casey's lot, A LOUD VOICE BLARED OUT OF THE RADIO!
I jumped! Jerked the steering wheel! What in the NOT-HEAVEN was going on??? Was there a nuclear bomb incoming? My childhood air raid drills gave me the urge to find a desk and crawl under it with my hands on the back of my head. Because that'll protect you, dontcha know, from radiation!
My hands were literally shaking as I turned down the volume to a manageable level. I had put T-Hoe in park by now. I listened. Maybe it was just a tornado warning. Though I don't know how SiriusXM would know to send it only to people in Hillmomba.
Sweet Gummi Mary! That voice was telling me that my OnStar service was coming due! I pay by the year, and it expires on June 26. We're not renewing. T-Hoe is getting old, I don't drive young 'uns around every day anymore, and a cell phone will do almost anything OnStar could do for me, except for remotely unlock my door.
Why did OnStar have to be so dramatic? "WARNING! YOUR ONSTAR SERVICE WILL EXPIRE SOON. IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE..."
I really think that should be frowned upon, a voice popping up on the radio while you're driving! Maybe OnStar had an ulterior motive. Maybe it was trying to scare me into an accident, so I would realize how much I need to keep my OnStar service...
3 comments:
Businesses (other than Onstar) should use that same tactic. Instead of blaring at us via the television or radio, they could scream at us through our steering wheel.
You (I am sure) still have a teacher's voice. You could rent out your voice to shriek at drivers. (Think about it. It could be the source of casino money.)
I think you should contact OnStar and remind them that sudden loud shouting can distract a driver and cause accidents for which OnStar will get sued...
Why can't they just send a note through the mail?
Sioux,
That sounds too much like gainful employment to me!
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River,
I had already contacted them about stopping our service, when I got the statement in the mail, and they said to just not pay the bill! Heh, heh! I refuse to let them take automatic payments out of my account. I always paid by check annually, for this very reason!
Farmer H swore that they only do that when the vehicle is stopped. No siree, Bob! I was driving at the time!
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