Sunday, June 2, 2019

Ne'er-Do-Wells Never Gonna Do Well

I stopped to pick up the mail Tuesday, on the way to town for my 44 oz Diet Coke. I parked on the gravel road, to walk across the blacktop to EmBee. I always make sure to park as far right as I can get. In fact, T-Hoe's side is up against tree limbs. There's plenty of room for people to come in or out of the gravel road.

Here's a picture, although it shows T-Hoe parked on the other side of the gravel road, when I returned. Just to give you an idea of the amount of space here, and where I park, and where Mailbox Row is located.

Sorry that it's skewed. Didn't mean to make you feel like you're going down on the Titanic. I just stuck the phone out the window, and took it blindly. Not necessarily to show off my shiny new door handle. That's a happy accident.

Anyhoo... on Tuesday, as I was parked on the other side, stepping out and closing T-Hoe's door to start my trek across the blacktop, I heard a vehicle crunching along the gravel behind me. It was a red Dodge Ram pickup, regular cab, which I had once mistaken for Farmer H's SilverRedO. It's the same shade of red, and I can't see the ram head decal on the front from very far away. I see this truck a lot, coming and going.

Anyhoo... I was striding along past T-Hoe, keeping close so that Red Ram could get around me. VROOM! The driver gassed it, and made a wide berth around me. So far that he was driving where I have T-Hoe parked in that picture. I was kind of put-out, thinking, "I'm not THAT wide!" when Red Ram went around me. Come to find out, he was doing that for a proper approach to Mailbox Row.

Red Ram pulled up against Mailbox Row, facing traffic the wrong way, so as not to get out, but only reach through the window for his mail.

Not that I'm the rural Road Police, mind you. I park T-Hoe on the blacktop road to get out and get the mail sometimes when I come home. But I DON'T park in front of the mailboxes, and at least I'm facing the right way for traffic.

At first I wasn't too mad, because I figured it was just like he cut line in front of me. Like he would take his mail and move on. But no. I swear, that guy was either opening and closing every mailbox, looking for something he might want... or he picked up his mail after the Monday holiday, and read every piece of it. There I stood. I couldn't get to EmBee with him parked there. He took so long that I went back to T-Hoe's door, and turned off the ignition. Not wasting MY gas on this Ne'er-Do-Well's passive-aggressive antics.

I swear he was there at least five minutes. I think he did that on purpose. Butthole.


River said...

Butthole indeed. Butthole extraordinaire. And what's this about opening and closing all the boxes in case he sees something he might like? I am flabbergasted! how dare he. (just in case he was). Although he probably wasn't with you right there being a witness and all. What the heck is wrong with some people that they feel the need to inconvenience everyone else?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Yeah, I don't have proof he was opening other mailboxes. I couldn't see through his truck. I have, myself, opened the boxes on each side of mine, if I was expecting something important, because we have gotten their mail before, and they have gotten ours. But what in the Not-Heaven could he have been doing to take so long???

He obviously knew that's where I was walking, having seen me get out of T-Hoe and move in that direction, then stand there waiting!

Auntie Em said...

Izzit possible that the dude was putting some sort of advertising piece into each mailbox? Sometimes a startup will do that to avoid postage.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Auntie Em,
It's possible. I'd go for that theory more if it was a strange vehicle. I've seen this one out here for a while, so I figure it's a resident with a mailbox, not an entrepreneur. There was no advertising in my mailbox when I finally got to it.