Sunday, June 23, 2019

Now It's Come To This

I'm pretty sure the minimum-wage fast-food worker at Hardee's slipped me a mickey last week. As you may recall, I was a bit harsh reviewing their Taco Salad. Well! Ever since then, I've been craving a Taco Salad! Like some potion was poured over it to make me addicted to terrible Taco Salads. If only someone can stage an intervention to get this Taco Salad monkey off my back!

Friday, I had another one. To reward myself, you know, for all my errands. Farmer H is gone all day on Fridays, comes home for about an hour, then leaves again for the auction. This time he was planning to use his free tickets to the rodeo. So I didn't have to plan supper for him.

My Friday Taco Salad from Hardee's looked a little bigger! Maybe it was just because I was hungrier, but it tasted better, too! Or maybe the mickey they slip into it, rather than knocking me unconscious so I eat it unknowingly, without complaint, instead makes it taste extraordinarily delicious. Mmm... you know where this is headed, right?

Saturday, Farmer H drove ten hours to have an hour lunch at a family get-together. There I was, alone, not needing to prepare food... so of course I drove through Hardee's for a Taco Salad! The half-life of the most recent mickey must have been shorter. When I looked inside the box, I was saddened and a bit unappetized.

My Taco Salad had the back side of the shell high, and the front side of the shell low. It was not sitting on a waxed-paper square as usual, but on the bare bottom (heh, heh) of the box. A red fluid was leaking out the front. I suppose it might have been salsa, which was not evident anywhere else. The left half of the shell contained shredded lettuce. The middle quarter was meat. The right quarter was sour cream. All up against the shell, rendering it soggy on that side.

Dang it! I'd had such high hopes. I put a piece of non-stick foil on a paper plate, and transferred my shell onto it. I poured Save A Lot salsa into a plastic ramekin, and shredded cheddar into another one. Let the record show that even upon devourment, no cheese was found in my Taco Salad!

That's because I forgot to add my OWN shredded cheddar, which I had set aside on my lair desk while getting situated.

It's a travesty, I tell you! Not even a mickey-ed Mrs. HM can make a bad Taco Salad good.

3 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

By the time you add goodies--and forget goodies--to your fast food taco salad, you could have made a great one from stuff at home. (I sent you a link for the taco salad "bowls" that are sold at the Devil's Playground--maybe just online. I'm not sure.)

Just think. If you had all the stuff there at home, you could make a great salad for your self and your oh-so-deserving man...

Doesn't Farmer H deserve a restaurant quality (or better-than-a-restaurant) home-cooked meal from his woman?

River said...

Do they have one of those boxes with complaint forms customers can fill out? I think you should fill one out in all caps like you were yelling at them. Do they have a website? You can complain there too. Anonymously. It's a pity you're not like my mother. She would have been up at the counter shoving the box back at them and demanding to know what the heck is going on.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I'll be looking for those shells. I have everything else except hamburger. I could make a chicken taco salad, though. Or maybe get some hamburger if I find the shells.

***
River,
I should have looked at it before I left, but I usually don't if it's the drive-thru. Not sure they would have done anything, though. I think it might be dangerous to eat a "replacement" after ruffling their feathers with a complaint.