Sunday, July 7, 2019

When Sugar And Spice Will Not Suffice

Here's a tale from Farmer H's Storage Unit Store.

Let the record show that Hillmomba is a rural area, and most families have a gun in the household. Not bragging, not apologizing, that's just the way it is. Kids grow up around them, are taught safety first, learn to shoot at cans in the back field, and sometimes go hunting with a parent. That's the culture here. Too bad if the thought of it makes some people's heads explode. Farmer H buys and sells guns at his Storage Unit Store, and at auctions. It's perfectly legal.

Saturday, Farmer H had a story.

"I've got a couple .22s at my Store. A guy was looking at one of them last weekend, for his granddaughter. He said, 'Do you think I could paint it pink?' And I said, 'You probably could, with that acrylic paint. I don't know why you couldn't.' He said he'd think about it. She wanted a pink gun. I bought one at the auction the other night. I figured this guy'll buy it the next time he comes around. It's brand new, in the box. Never been shot. Must have been a gift, because there's still some wrapping paper stuck to the corner.

Today, this other guy came in and was looking at it. He had his daughter with him. She was probably 10-11 years old. He was really excited, but she didn't seem to be. He said, 'Look here! We've been looking for a gun for you! Hold it! Let's see how it feels.' So the girl picked it up. She couldn't have been less interested. Acted like it was a chore. It's a small gun. The lightest one there is, a .22. She wasn't saying much, and the guy put it back in the box. He said he'd probably be back. I seen them walk by a couple of times, looking in.

A little bit later, the guy comes in by himself. He said, 'I want to buy a .22, but she don't like the pink! She wants a black gun. So I'll take that one. Here's $50 for you to hold, and I'm gonna run down to the ATM and get the rest. For the black one.' Heh, heh. That little girl didn't want the pink gun! So now I still have it to show my other guy, that wants one."

Ah. Such a heartwarming story from Farmer H, the gunmonger.


River said...

I'm guessing that little girl didn't want a gun at all, much less a pink one. Why do parents assume or insist that kids want the things they want for them. The dad is keen on guns, but she doesn't have to be.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Maybe. I'm thinking that maybe she idolized her dad, and wanted to be like him, and was excited to be gun shopping, but INSULTED when he tried to get her a GIRLY gun!

FARMER H's older two boys were interested in his guns, and could take them apart and clean them, knew the names of all of them, even said one of the smaller shotguns should be mine, and called it "HM's Gun." This is from the time they were around 8-10 years old. Genius and The Pony never showed much interest. They'd go out and shoot with Farmer H, without much enthusiasm. So you know who's getting all the firearms in the will! The older boys know what they're worth, and what to do with them.