A Dog And Farmer Show

Oh, my sides! That jokester Farmer H has flipped my gigglebox. Seems like only yesterday I shared how Farmer H plotted an elaborate phone call (for him) to pretend that he'd hit a big jackpot on a lottery ticket. Now, he's bringing Jack into his act.

Let the record show that Farmer H's latest joke does not seem to be intentional. Yet it elicited a smirk from Mrs. Hillbilly Mom just the same.

Monday evening, after I had come back into the Mansion after snacking the dogs, Farmer H said asked about the commotion on the porch.

"What was all that about?"

"I don't know. They had just finished eating. Jack was still licking his plate. And Copper took off around the side of the house, barking. Juno ran down the porch to that end, and was barking, too. Then Jack had to get in on it. I have no idea what it was. I didn't see anything. It all started when a white truck went up the road. They all stood up, watching it, on alert. Then took off toward the side of the house. Nothing to do with that truck."

"Huh. Do you know what I caught JACK doing today?"

"No. I'm not sure I want to hear. He wasn't eating a chicken, was he? Don't we only have one left?"

"Yeah. Just that one rooster. I oughta skin him and we'll eat him. But he's fine. Jack wasn't after him."

"I haven't smelled a dead possum. I know he chases that one cat that growls at him."

"No. I caught Jack IN THE GOAT'S WATER BUCKET!!!"

"That's all? He's been in there lots of times. You know he likes water. You didn't fill up his little swimming tub ALL SUMMER. Remember how he'd lay down in it? He loved his little tub."


"Well, he doesn't need to be in the goat's bucket!"

"Good luck with that. He WAS wet when I came home with my soda today."

See? What's the point of that story? It's a known fact that Jack gets in the goat bucket. The record shows it! So I don't know what was with Farmer H's fake shock that he caught Jack in the goat's water bucket. It's not like he caught Jack gnawing his way through the goat's innards. There's plenty of water left in the bucket. It's at least 10 gallons.

Save me the faux outrage at Jack's water-body proclivities. The real outrage should be Jack's. That he has been deprived of his personal swimming pool all summer.