Wednesday, December 25, 2019

A PsychoSoda Christmas At The Mansion

With The Pony and Genius and Friend here at the Mansion for the Christmas holidays, Farmer H and I laid in a supply of beverages. Our guests are not ones to drink Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Coke. We had some Sprite for The Pony, and some real Coke for mixing with Jack Daniels. Genius and Friend mainly drink water, unless they're imbibing their alcohol.

Anyhoo...I'd been hinting for a couple days that this soda needed to be taken down to the mini fridge in the basement. There was barely enough room for all the food in FRIG II. Of course my hints fell on deaf ears. Finally, Farmer H took it upon himself to chill the soft drinks.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the door of the mini fridge for my knee ice, and saw

SODA BUTTS!

Sweet Gummi Mary! What in the NOT-HEAVEN? Who stocks a mini fridge this way? Let me answer for you: A DANG PSYCHO! That's who!

Why would you shove the soda in head first? Nobody wants to grapple with a soda butt when going to fetch a beverage. If the lids face out, you can grab a couple, by fitting your fingers around the narrow tops. Not so with the wide butts. Unless you've got the ginormous hands of a professional football quarterback, you can only get ONE. If you have several brands of cola, or other dark soda like root beer, or Dr. Pepper, you can't tell what you're getting unless you've memorized the shapes of the butts of each brand.

As you can clearly see, the Diet Coke that I put in for myself is an example that Farmer H could have followed. But no. Farmer H has to re-invent the wheel every time he does a job that many people would assign a toddler.

Once again, Farmer H proves that if you want a job done right, do it yourself. Or ask anyone other than Farmer H. Who swore this method was perfectly normal, little chuckle, the way MOST people stock their soda.

I'd think he was doing it on purpose so as not to be tasked with such a difficult chore ever again. But I'm not sure Farmer H's mind thinks that far ahead.

3 comments:

River said...

You're definitely on to something. It's a well known fact that men do things badly so they won't be asked to do them ever again. We need to learn to outfox the foxes. with very specific instructions and pictures if necessary. oh, and tell Farmer H he is wrong, NO ONE stocks drinks in a fridge that way.

Sioux Roslawski said...

You're onto his scheme. Do it wrong, screw it up, take so long that next time, you'll do it yourself.

My PITA took a mop and applied bleach to the bathroom ceiling (we have mold that pops up) and when I pointed out the spots of mold he had missed, he said, "That's not mold, that's bit of mop that have gotten left behind."

What mess will he leave behind when he tries to get the mop bits removed--if he ever does?

OMG. What a PITA.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
This time, Farmer H might not have been so foxy. I think he was just lazy. I'm guessing that he grabbed the soda by the butt end to twist it loose from the plastic 6-pack holder, and jammed it right onto the shelf while gripping the butt. I take them loose, set them down, then pick up by the cap end to stock them.

***
Sioux,
We have than same mold issue in the shower. Your PITA is better trained than mine, who has not yet made ANY ATTEMPT to remedy the matter, despite my world-class nagging.