The Lurky Lous

Today was mammogram day for Mrs. HM. I put it off in May, then got busy doing absolutely nothing and forgot about it, then had my six-month checkup in November, where my doctor nurse practitioner tried to pull a fast one and send me downstairs to get it RIGHT THEN! I begged off, since it was that icy day, and Farmer H had driven me, and was waiting outside in T-Hoe. Darned if the hospital didn't call me at home and schedule an appointment.

Anyhoo...Farmer H again offered to drive me. He waited outside, while I waited inside. They must have called 10 people back to radiology ahead of me. But I must say, I was sitting at the admit desk doing paperwork computerwork at 10:58 for my 11:00 appointment.

I was seated in an open cubicle. It had two sides, with the back open to the main corridor where it makes an L shape turning to another wing. The lady across the desk from me had a view of that corridor, but my back was to it. She typed in my info, copied my insurance card, had me sigh with an electronic pen, and called the mammography department to come collect me. I go every year. It's not really a big deal.

While I was waiting to be collected, I sensed someone behind me. I'd been having this feeling while sitting there. When I'd glance down the corridor to my left, at people sitting in chairs waiting to be called to their assorted departments, I thought I saw someone behind me. I don't like people behind me. At school, I arranged my desk so kids couldn't walk behind me. In the movie theater, I sit in the back row. I'm just like that.

Anyhoo...there I was, sitting in that tiny cubicle. The lady looked past me, and said, "Sir, is there something you're waiting for?" Because, you see, people don't come down that corridor unless they are collected. They wait in the main holding area after check-in at the front reception desk, for somebody to call their name and escort them where they're going. It's not a patient wing. It's radiology.

This Lurky Lou stepped over INTO MY CUBICLE, crowding in, his butt at my sitting face, and leaned over the desk, telling the lady that he needed to schedule an appointment. "Oh. I don't do that here. You need to go up front."

Seriously. That Lurky Lou had been creeping there behind me all through my registration. Hearing my address and name and why I was there. I do not like that! Surely one of those volunteer patient-collectors should have accosted him about where he was supposed to be!

So then a gal from mammography comes out, and says "Let me just check. We have two back there already." She was back in an instant. As I got up to follow her around the corner to the right, I'll be ding dang donged if ANOTHER Lurky Lou was standing against THAT wall! Nobody said anything to him.

What is it with these MEN people? They don't have a lick of common sense. Can't follow instructions. Think they own the world and can go wherever they please! Including right up behind Mrs. Hillbilly Mom while she's giving personal information to a health professional.

When I got picked up by Farmer H after my squishing, I told him about those two Lurky Lous.

"Oh, HM. You have such an imagination. Everything is an ordeal to you."

Hold it right there, Bub! If Farmer H was at that desk, waiting to have his frank and beans squished between plexiglass panels, do you think he'd feel odd about a woman standing behind him? Okay. Bad example. Because I'm sure Farmer H would purely LOVE to have a Skulking Sue behind him listening to his details.

BUT, if a male Lurky Lou walked into Farmer H's cubicle, butt in his face, do you think he'd consider it nothing?

I DON'T THINK SO!