Wednesday, December 6, 2023

No Good Deed Goes UnNagged

I found the sausages Farmer H likes while I was in Save A Lot on Monday. They had both the flat patties, in a pack of four, and the bratwursts, in a pack of five, of which I got two. They were marked as part of the 5 for $25 deal, so I looked around for two more items. Settled on the Oberle Cheese, which I give to HOS (Farmer H's Oldest Son) and The Veteran every year for Christmas.

Farmer H said he would grill the flat patties on Tuesday evening for supper. I was prepared to freeze them, like the bratwursts, until better weather, since they were coming up on the Sell By date in two days. Farmer H said no, he wanted to grill. 

Well. The weather turned colder in the afternoon, unpredicted by the TV meteorologists. It was 41 when I got home at 3:30, and who knows what temp when Farmer H went out at 5:30 to light up GassyG Jr. I put some frozen crinkle fries in the oven. Farmer H was back inside within 20 minutes.

"I THINK they're probably done..."

That's a red flag bigger than a bullfighter's cape! When he took them out of FRIG II, I had told Farmer H to smash the patties.

"See how plump they are? They will cook up even more plump. They'll look like meatballs! Use the bottom of that pizza pan, and flatten them so they'll fit the buns."

Of course Farmer H used the palms of his hands over the plastic wrap. Not really effective at flattening the patties. Of course I told him that palms were not in my instructions. Meanwhile, back to the "finished" product...

"I'm sure they're not done!"

"Well. I wasn't going to poke them with a fork and let out the juice."

Farmer H set the tray of patties on the stovetop while I got out the fries.

"Look! They're oozing pink liquid! They are NOT done! I'm not eating raw pork!"

"We'll just put them in the microwave."

"You'll have to use a real plate. Because of all the juice that's going to come out."

Farmer H proceeded to STAB A FORK into the middle of each patty to put it on the plate! Of course the juices bubbled out. 

Anyhoo... the sausage patties were finished in the microwave. They were quite thick in the middle, and didn't lie flat on the bun. More juices surged out upon biting into them, but they were done. The taste was good, and Farmer H had gotten a little bit of char on the outside. I had a bit left over that will become a treat for Jack and Scarlett on Wednesday.

Life would be so much simpler if Farmer H would just listen to me, and actually take my advice!

4 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Listen? Men do not listen!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
You ain't a-woofin'! As my grandpa used to say. Of course, he also said, "That'll put hair on your chest!" every time he tried to persuade me to try a pickled pig's foot out of the open jar in his 'ice box.'

River said...

But such a simple life would leave you nothing to write about for us to chuckle over.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
That is true. I would have more time to write, with less time cleaning up after Farmer H. But I would have nothing to write about!