I will stop short of saying that Farmer H treats me like a mushroom. He may keep me in the dark, but he does not feed me rumpus excretions. Because, you see, that would require EFFORT from him, to feed me anything.
Farmer H used to tell teen HOS (Farmer H's Oldest Son) and tween Little Future Veteran a standard answer when they asked a question he didn't want to deal with. "That's on a need-to-know basis, and you don't need to know." I think that stems from the King of Everything wanting to keep his subjects ignorant of his comings and goings and doings.
On Wednesday, I knew Farmer H was going to play bingo that night. He said he wasn't coming home before bingo time. So I went about my business, not expecting to see him until time to watch The Amazing Race.
As I was getting in the shower around 2:00, I heard all three dogs barking their fool heads off while running across the front yard. Just like when they follow Farmer H on the Gator, or in SilverRedO. I figured he had once again changed his plans, and come home to drop off some junk or tools, and would come in to shower or have a recliner nap before bingo. Yet when I got out, Farmer H was not in the house. I presumed he was over on Shackytown Boulevard, or at the BARn or Freight Container Garage. The dogs did not come meet me for their pre-town snack.
Driving down the gravel road in front of the BARn, I saw a car! What in the NOT-HEAVEN? Why was there a strange black small sedan parked in front of our BARn???
I immediately called Farmer H.
"Why is there a strange small black sedan parked in front of our BARn?"
"Oh. That's my old buddy I did the sewer pipe for. He's getting some hay."
"Uh. Don't you think maybe you should have told me? I thought it was somebody breaking in."
"No. I knew he was coming."
"Don't you think you should have told me? I'm an old lady, here by myself."
"Well, I didn't know if you'd still be there when he got there."
"Don't you think you should have told me? In case I saw a car driving across our yard from the driveway to the BARn?"
"I didn't think you'd see him."
"DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME?"
"I guess maybe I should have told you..."
So hard to make Farmer H see the error of his ways!
2 comments:
You had to ask FOUR times before he realised!
He truly does not think the way others do.
River,
Yes, FOUR! The unbelievable part is that he admitted to it at all! I think he finally realized that I was going to keep hounding him until he agreed with me.
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