Yukking 101

The best thing about my job is that even on the worst of days, I can find a laugh.

Today was not the worst of days. Even if you consider how I gave the state standardized test of 47 multiple choice questions, and two students were done in 23 minutes. And another one fell asleep at #32, and I had to wake him to continue.

My freshman were not testing. Their assignment was an opinion report. One child did not have a pencil. There was a lengthy story as to why not, but I was not paying close attention. I sent her two doors down to purchase a pencil, since my offer of a chewed-up loaner were declined. Not for the teeth marks, but because she needed a pencil ALL DAY, not just for Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's class. Off she went.

During her absence, another student asked me to spell Sasquatch. I had just finished a gold-medal-caliber performance of adult spelling when Pencil Procurer returned.

"She wasn't in her room, but she found one, and gave it to me."

"A SASQUATCH?" The Sasquatch-writer was flabbergasted. Because time doesn't stand still while one is out of the room, and kids are sometimes slow to switch gears.

"No. A pencil. Why would she give me a Sasquatch?"

At the beginning of a later class, I read a few choice selections from the morning reports.

"...and even though I know a monkey might get mad at the drop of a hat and bite your face off, I still want to get a newborn monkey baby for a pet. Hey! I figure it's better than a lion, or a tiger, or a bear--"

"OH MY!" Perfect. Every single student. In unison. No amount of rehearsal could even garner the same tight response.

Thank you. They'll be here four years.