Saturday, May 19, 2012

Stopping To Smell The Roses Before They Bloom

My internet connection has been exceptionally slow tonight. So slow, in fact, that it has inspired me to think up things it's slower than while I am waiting for pages to load. And here they are:

1. a Japanese bullet train

2. an actual bullet, fired from a train

3. a car driven by a drunken Billy Joel, just before it crashed into a house

4. a frog's tongue snagging a fly

5. George Costanza leaving a burning apartment during a child's birthday party

6. Elaine Benes's trip to the hospital to visit her boyfriend, including a stop for JujyFruits

7. the long version of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird"

8. an arthritic Galapagos Tortoise running the 100-yard dash

9. Julia Sugarbaker stating her opinion

10. the final class period of the last day of the school year


Sioux said...

11. The speed of that incredible "loogey" that turned a corner in mid-air before it struck Kramer.

12. The amount of time Anthony wore a pair of Suzanne Sugarbaker's pantyhose to keep warm.

13. The time Poppi spent washing his hands before preparing something very special for Jerry and his date.

Hillbilly Mom said...

14. The time that Jerry was overdue with his library book, The Tropic of Cancer. Or was it The Tropic of Capricorn...