Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Do You Think I'm Kidding?

"I hate her stupid Germ-X!" proclaimed the cognitively dissonant girl as she slathered the stuff halfway up her forearms.

Of course I heard her from my hallway monitoring station at just outside my classroom door. "Oh! Don't you worry! I won't bother to spend my own personal money on any more of that stupid Germ-X for you students to use. In fact, now that I know how much you hate it, I will remove it from the classroom during your class period. You can sit and stew in your own microbes all hour. Far be it from me to expose you to a stupid substance that you hate."

"What? Are you serious? That sounds so...bad. Stew in our own microbes! I don't have anything against Germ-X. It's how it shoots out. YOU go get some. It hits you in your bellybutton."

"ME go get some? From the common bottle? I don't think so! I have my own bottle right back here by my desk. See? So what if it's almost empty? It's mine. All mine. I couldn't bear to throw it away."

"Hey! It's the day before Thanksgiving! We get out early. What are we doing in here today?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you can just stew in your own microbes."

3 comments:

knancy said...

Yes, I think you are "kidding". You ARE kidding. Kidding - what a funny word - unless you are a kid and being kidded. Don't be kidding me Val. OK, I quit - just kidding.

Sioux said...

Beggars can't be choosers, my parents always said...

Hillbilly Mom said...

knancy,
Sometimes I can't resist going a bit over the top in response to these daily naysayers. Somebody always has a trivial complaint. Unlike my complaints, of course, which are completely valid, and involve weighty issues such as which side of the paper the owner's name should be written on.

****
Sioux,
But free Germ-X recipients can be critics! Bet they never told you that one.

Surely a kid who knows the Germ-X shoots out at her bellybutton every day would think to place her hand in the area of her bellybutton. Wouldn't you think?