Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Do You Think I'm Kidding?

"I hate her stupid Germ-X!" proclaimed the cognitively dissonant girl as she slathered the stuff halfway up her forearms.

Of course I heard her from my hallway monitoring station at just outside my classroom door. "Oh! Don't you worry! I won't bother to spend my own personal money on any more of that stupid Germ-X for you students to use. In fact, now that I know how much you hate it, I will remove it from the classroom during your class period. You can sit and stew in your own microbes all hour. Far be it from me to expose you to a stupid substance that you hate."

"What? Are you serious? That sounds so...bad. Stew in our own microbes! I don't have anything against Germ-X. It's how it shoots out. YOU go get some. It hits you in your bellybutton."

"ME go get some? From the common bottle? I don't think so! I have my own bottle right back here by my desk. See? So what if it's almost empty? It's mine. All mine. I couldn't bear to throw it away."

"Hey! It's the day before Thanksgiving! We get out early. What are we doing in here today?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you can just stew in your own microbes."


knancy said...

Yes, I think you are "kidding". You ARE kidding. Kidding - what a funny word - unless you are a kid and being kidded. Don't be kidding me Val. OK, I quit - just kidding.

Sioux said...

Beggars can't be choosers, my parents always said...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sometimes I can't resist going a bit over the top in response to these daily naysayers. Somebody always has a trivial complaint. Unlike my complaints, of course, which are completely valid, and involve weighty issues such as which side of the paper the owner's name should be written on.

But free Germ-X recipients can be critics! Bet they never told you that one.

Surely a kid who knows the Germ-X shoots out at her bellybutton every day would think to place her hand in the area of her bellybutton. Wouldn't you think?