Sometimes, I Suppose The News Is Accurate

I guess there must be something to this food stamp reduction thingy. Today in Save-A-Lot, I saw three tottering old couples I've never seen before. And by "saw," I mean got behind them and had to plod along like Tim Conway as The Old Man. Not that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is speedy, of course. But they were slower than a snail on benadryl towing a pallet of lead across January molasses. And it's not even Sunday after-church shopping day. It's the 2nd of the month. So I think the oldsters were trying to get the most bang for their electronic food buck.

You could tell they were not familiar with the store. The old women zigged and zagged, perusing the canned goods, then the dairy case. The old men started down the aisle behind their womenfolk. Remained when the gals crossed over. Then became anxious. Looked over their shoulders. Made a beeline for their brides. Woe was anyone trying to complete the circuit in accordance with a pre-made shopping list.

Actually, I was lucky. I did not get behind the slowpokes until I had to go back to the beginning to find the Great Northern beans. How dare Save-A-Lot move them since the last time I bought beans! It was like getting sent to Jail in Monopoly. Do not pass Go. Go directly to Jail. Instead of rolling doubles to escape, I cheated. I turned around and went backwards when thwarted by the blue-haired cardigan-wearers.

I hope they were able to fill their cart with staples. And learn the lay of the land for next time.