Saturday, November 30, 2013

Leveling The Feeding Field

The wages of thievery came due this morning.

The #1 son sprawled on the long couch, pretending to be uninterested in the wisdom spouted by Hillbilly Mom. He was only on the long couch because I claimed Farmer H's recliner right out from under his butt. Just because absence makes the heart grow fonder does not mean a reunion upsets the pecking order.

HM: "I'm off to The Devil's Playground for a few things. We're going to see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire tomorrow, so I'm getting the shopping out of the way today, while The Pony is bowling."

#1: "Yeah, yeah. Blah blah blah."

HM: "Do you need anything to take back? Pop Tarts?"

#1: "No. Those are on the cutting block. I've been saving them."

HM: "Are you sure?"

#1: "Yeah. Wait a minute! Did somebody eat them? PONY! Come up and see if I have enough Pop Tarts." This is a common tactic for #1. To lay on the couch, and call The Pony up from the basement to go in the kitchen and look for stuff. Or to go in #1's bedroom and bring his phone or laptop. For some reason, The Pony does it. Lately, The Pony has been feeling his oats.

THE PONY: "No. If I remember correctly, there are two packs of Red Velvet, and one pack of blueberry."

#1: "ONE PACK! Did you eat some?"

THE PONY: "Yes. You ate my Soft Batch cookies."

#1: "I'm going to need more blueberry Pop Tarts. Get the big box this time."

Heh heh. The look on #1's face was priceless. What he doesn't know it that while in town, I went in Save A Lot and bought The Pony some more Soft Batch packs. Which I put in the bottom of a bag, and whispered to The Pony to hide them when we unpacked the groceries.

It shouldn't have to be this way. But we have to level the feeding field.


Sioux said...

They make red velvet Pop Tarts?

What is this world coming to?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Oh, YEAH! According to #1, they are just red pastry and white filling, but taste like the real deal. I don't know. Not a fan of red velvet. I would not drape my digestive tract with it, even if it was socially acceptable.