Thursday, November 21, 2013

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Has A He In Her Bonnet

Please, please, please! For the love of Sweet Gummi Mary, MAKE IT STOP!

One would prefer, when one comes home from a hard day at work, and warms up some supper in the oven while heating a bag of vegetables in the microwave, that one could enjoy some quality computer time in one's dark basement lair as a reward for contributing to society in an acceptable manner.

When one instead is treated to unsettling sound of a significant other stomping willy-nilly o'er the Mansion on legs that seeming have no feet, one grows petulant. When that significant other brings the hubbub downstairs THREE separate times, and indulges in some ritual on the other side of the wall shared by the lair and the basement workshop that sounds as if the Property Brothers are remodeling the Biltmore Estate, one contemplates one's future.

When Farmer H and I both retire in 2.5 years...somebody's gonna need a restraining order.


Sioux said...

And to think that when you said you "petted the old goat" I thought you were talking about Farmer H.

I guess I was mistaken...

knancy said...

I believe in an earlier comment, I mentioned that you should make sure that Hick lives in the BARn and you live in the Mansion. Time now is when you make sure this is totally understood. Start by secretly rigging items in the Mansion so Hick will not want to stay. Mainly, post pictures of your wedding everywhere! Ha, ha, ha! If that doesn't work - pull that damn apnea face mask off him and tell him it only works in the BARn. If that doesn't work, promise him a tower of auction meat soup once a month if he will keep his distance.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Nah. It was the remains of the Alaskan mountain goat my uncle lovingly shot for my grandma. I was just letting Linda know that if I laid down on the floor beside one of those skins, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off.

I actually wanted to say laid down IN the floor. Because that's how we talk in these here parts. And I'm pretty sure I should say "lay" down, to be proper. But nobody talks that way in Hillmomba.

I'd be satisfied if he would just keep his arm out from under my pillow stack. He dislodges them before I go to bed. My neck has been hurting for a week. Next thing you know, he'll be snacking in bed and drop a pea under the mattress, and I'll never be able to get any sleep.

It's hard to rip off the breather when it's buried under a quilt that's wrapped around his head like a burrito.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

At least he doesn't eat in bed.

Hillbilly Mom said...

True. But I think that's only because he would have to remove the mask of his breather to take a bite.