Sunday, February 15, 2015

Farmer H Is Butt-Bitten By Even Steven And Karma (Once On Each Cheek)

Farmer H has a flat tire. Not a spare tire. Everybody knows THAT. But now he has a flat tire on his precious Gator. Uh huh. He sprung it on me over my birthday dinner, which was today and not on my actual birthday.

"I have a flat tire on the Gator."

"Huh. I guess you'll have to keep putting air in it."

"I need a new tire."

"I don't know why. When I had a flat tire on T-Hoe, I had to stop every week for The Pony to put air in it."

"But his one goes all the way flat."

"Mine would have, too, if The Pony didn't put air in it for me."

"I'm going to run by Tractor Supply on the way home to see if they have one."

"Shouldn't you wait six months? That's what I did when I had a tire going flat."

"I need a tire. I've been airing it up every day with my compressor."

"Which is more convenient than stopping by a convenience store if they don't have somebody blocking the air hose, and having your son jump out no matter what the weather, and put in six pounds of air to last you three days."

"I'm getting a tire."

Even Steven and Karma are quite a duo. Tractor Supply was fresh out of Gator tires.

3 comments:

Sioux said...

How is the side mirror on the Gator? (Or does it have one?) Isn't that something you contended with?

Kathy's Klothesline said...

It is well known that I have a fabric fetish. I have been known to go a little overboard when I hit a good sale. This has gained me a stern look or two from He Who and he even asked me once if I NEEDED the fabric. I just looked him straight in the eye and said "I don't smoke, how much do those cigarettes cost?".
Do they really think they can engage in a verbal conflict and win?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
If only the Gator had a side mirror! Or maybe it once did, and Farmer H broke it off, like that of my precious T-Hoe, which he tried to pass off as the work of some door-slamming maniac at the hospital during my pulmonary embolism interlude.

*****
Kathy,
I think they do! Hope springs eternal.