Monday, February 23, 2015

Would Einstein, With Any Other Hair Color, Still Look So Smart?

You know what Einstein's hair looks like? That's how I feel like mine looks right now.

Don't even think about suggesting I check it out in the mirror. That would take too much effort. And too much time. I have worked myself to nearly the bone today, the 10th day of my 10-day weekend due to icy roadways around the byways of Hillmomba. I think Newmentia is gonna pull out all the stops to get us back within the wallowed walls of academia on Tuesday, though. I have to get back to work so I can get out of work and then start my very last year of employment, you know.

Yes, I am as frazzled as my hair, which is not, as my sister the ex-mayor's wife might wish, the same color as Einstein's hair. Since 6:30 this morning, I have been working on the Hillbilly taxes, after spending about 6 hours on them last night. The fly in the ointment is the #1 son, who MUST file a return this year, because he dared to work and earn a scant $300 over the filing limit. FIE ON THE FILING LIMIT! I still provided over half of that boy's support, so I can claim him. You would think one so gifted in the math and computer fields would be able to file his own return. But no. Mommy is strangling on those apron strings right now.

Here's how a day off goes for Mrs. Hillbilly Mom.

6:00 a.m.-awakened by Farmer H who has to say "Bye" before going to work.

6:30 a.m.-arise because there's no going back to sleep.

6:46 a.m.-begin working on tax info.

8:15 a.m.-send email to lawyer concerning Mom's house and insurance.

8:?? a.m.-text my best ol' ex-teaching buddy Mabel in response to her weather update.

9:00 a.m.-make biscuits and search Frig II for sample jellies for The Pony. He reports that Black Current Jam is not all that similar to grape jelly.

9:15 a.m.-read email from lawyer concerning insurance.

9:20 a.m.-call insurance rep to question his shadiness. End conversation unsatisfied, but with a copy of the policy (heh, heh, I first typed that as police, wouldn't she be surprised, probably thinking he was a stripper) on the way to Sis.

9:28 a.m.-text Sis with a heads-up about the incoming insurance policy.

9:30 a.m.-make my breakfast of two miniscule sausage biscuits.

9:45 a.m.-answer phone to chat with Farmer H, who can't stand it when we're home.

9:55 a.m.-toss a load of whites and towels into the washer.

10:00 a.m.-take shower.

10:15 a.m.-eke out some uninterrupted time to work on taxes more than intermittently.

12:14 p.m.-open the can of worms that is communication with #1 in an effort to get info on his tuition/scholarship totals.

12:30 p.m.-cherish an hour of uninterrupted time to finish my own fed and state forms.

1:40 p.m.-put the clothes in the dryer before whipping up lunch for The Pony.

1:50 p.m.-stop in the middle of putting my lunch together and finishing the dishes to have several phone arguments with #1 over his fruitless attempts to gain a PIN from the IRS.

2:28 p.m.-savor the third bite of lunch until interrupted by Farmer H's second phone call to see what I'm doing and tell me he's leaving early for the dentist.

3:35 p.m.- field another call from #1 about his predicament, and inform him that his refund has been cut by $23 because he has to report his own interest income.

4:00 p.m.-get most of #1's info into TurboTax before being interrupted by his fifth or sixth call today, to excitedly tell me that he won $50 on the scratch-off ticket I sent him Saturday. Inform him that maybe it will fill the void left by his reduced refund.

4:30 p.m.-receive a visit from Farmer H in my dark basement lair just as I am getting ready to print #1's tax forms for mailing (as we who have had our identities stolen are wont to do).

5:00 p.m.-call #1 to ask for his financial institution digits so he can directly garner his precious kickback.

5:32 p.m.-still waiting on #1 to send me that info. You'd think he was soaking up book-learnin' or something. Perhaps spending his $50 windfall.

If I could just get than info, I could print out these papers and be done for the day.

Next on the agenda? THE FAFSA!


Sioux said...

How rude!

You country people are all alike. When it come to people of other religions, when it comes to people who live in the Middle East, you all are so narrow-minded.

I mean! Not even including his title. Just his last name! That's disrespectful.

And making him part of your "agenda." That sounds ominous. What are you plotting?

I know Saudi Arabia is far from here and quite different than here, but that's no reason to speak like that of King Faisal.

What? You weren't threatening anyone? You weren't denigrating the Middle East? You were writing of FAFSA?

Never mind.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Not on my agenda for now. Mistaken identity. I was just talking to King Julien about the goings-on in Madagascar, and I thought he said they had an issue with the FAFSA.

Now when Hillmombaland Security comes knocking on my door, I am going to steer them toward a crazy Madam who has been scoping out gas station chicken establishments.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I guess I shouldn't tell you I have never done taxes ..... My kids find it ironic that I trust their dad to do them and just sign whatever he puts in front of me, since I won't trust him to buy groceries.

Hillbilly Mom said...

If he gets his head stuck in a peanut butter jar, that would be the time to reconsider this arrangement.