Saturday, February 28, 2015

Some People Are More Equal Than Mrs. Hillbilly Mom

People are d*cks.

This morning The Pony and I headed to The Devil's Playground before our latest dose of 3-5 inches of global warming was due to hit Hillmomba.

"Let's park on the pharmacy side. I think we'll have a better chance of finding a spot." It was not only the morning of an impending snowstorm, but the last day of the month falling on a Saturday, which I think means people just got their monthly checks for March. These weekends always bring out a crowd. "You watch over on that row while I go down this one. Let me know if I should swing around."

"Oh Mom. There's one."

"Yeah. It's not too far."

"Take it! I don't think you'll find anything better." The Pony is a remarkably good spotter from the back seat. "I'm waiting until you get out and put your coat on before I leave the car." Huh. That's what happens when you refuse to wear the coat laying right there between the seats, and run around in a hoodie all winter. I guess I should be glad he wears slacks now instead of shorts.

"Do you want me to grab you a cart out here?"

"Yeah. I'll try it out on the way in, and if it won't steer right, I'll trade it inside. Oh. I didn't park very well. I'm sticking out. I'm going to be THAT car. But I couldn't help it. That one pulled in across from me right as I did. I didn't know how far she was going."

"It's not THAT bad. But you do stick out. Cars can still get by."

The shopping itself was uneventful, except for the 15 minutes it took to check out, with only two carts ahead of me. We started up the parking row.

"See there? That car is sticking out even more than mine."

The Pony was walking ahead with the keys. He pointed to that stick-out sedan with both hands, like Carol Merrill showing off the showcase behind Door Number Two.

"Yeah. I see it."

"Um. Mom. It's parked in the cart return space."

And indeed it was. The front bumper was almost up against the metal bars. You couldn't have slid a cart in there sideways.

Still. That sedan stuck out more than T-Hoe.

3 comments:

Sioux said...

Oh, haven't you been introduced to those people? They're TETTR--The Exception To The Rules. Because they carry this title, they can do the following:

* use a "10 items or less" aisle when they have 20 or more things in their cart

* park in a handicapped spot, despite having no appropriate license plate/hang tag

* get waited on first at QT, even though they obviously just walked in the door and butted ahead of several people already standing in line

* drive down the wrong way on a one-way parking lot aisle

I could list other perks this group enjoys, but I might lose my job...along with possibly beginning to froth at the mouth.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Sometimes you have to be creative when parking .....
My mother-in-law used to circle round and round just looking for someone to pull out so she could pull in.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I am frothing at the eyes just from reading that list! I have forgotten how d*ck*sh people REALLY are! Present company excluded, of course, Madam.

****
Kathy,
I have done that, but the pointed sighs from The Pony behind me whoosh past my ears like nuclear wind from an atomic bomb blast.