Friday, April 3, 2015

Let The Almost-Buyer Beware!

Looks like I will be whipping up an Easter dinner this weekend.

Farmer H said it didn't really matter to him, but that he does like some ham. The Pony does not especially like ham, even thought he takes it for his lunch every single day of the school year, if you can really call that plastic package of Oscar Meyer Deli Fresh (sure it is) wafered stuff with water added HAM.

So I stopped by The Devil's Playground for some last-minute shopping on Wednesday. I picked up a spiral cut ham of some kind that looks like Farmer H might enjoy it. It has a black label and is in a little net bag package. I'm really not a ham shopper, but this one cost twice as much as the ones around it, so I figured it was good, and just the right size for me and Farmer H and The Pony, with some left over for lunches next week.

As we were on the way home yesterday, The Pony informed me that the #1 son will be here this weekend. WHAT? That is not part of the plan! He was just here last week!. So I called #1, who declared that yes, he was bringing home a bargain enlarger that he got for FREE on Craig's List, and that he was picking up a little package from China that came for him on Tuesday, and that he would arrive around 5:00 p.m. Saturday, stay a couple of hours, then go back to college, and that he could eat some ham, if I was making one, and it was available on Saturday evening.

Well. What's a mother to do? Now the meal will be cooked on Saturday, and I can't send #1 back to school empty-handed, so there goes our very special ham, along with some trimmings, and I'm back to half a hot dog for lunch. Which made me decide to make a quick trip to town this morning for a few more provisions, mainly sour cream, onions, bread that #1 can take back, pepperjack cheese, green beans, some kind of dessert, and a cheap piece of ham to cook Sunday to take in our lunches next week.

I got most of it at Save A Lot, but I had to make a detour to Country Mart to look at their baked goods. I glanced at some cupcakes and lemon cake and muffins and chocolate chip cookies. Things the boys like. Because I am not baking an Oreo cake, what with all the other dishes to get ready. I went on down the bakery counter for some pretzel breadsticks. The Devil's Playground has been out of them the last two weeks. I have gotten them at Country Mart before, even though they're thicker than The Devil's, and less pretzel-tasting.

Great. I did not see any pretzel breadsticks. Only two packages of the pretzel roll buns. WAIT! Right there behind them...a package of pretzel breadsticks! I pulled it out and turned it over, looking at their shape, and saw LITTLE SPOTS OF GREEN MOLD!!! Ack! Not for me!

I saw a lady squeezing frosting out of a tube and onto a cake. I know she was just the cake lady, but there was no one else behind the bakery counter. I thought about putting that package back. No. That would be wrong. Somebody (not so suspicious as I) might buy it.

"Excuse me. You might want to know that your bread is moldy."

"Oh, those girls are not checking the dates like they should."

She took the package. I did not stick around to see what she did with it. Nor did I go back up the bakery aisle to pick up a dessert. I grabbed some pre-packaged pepperjack and some GLAD disposable (sure they are) containers, and headed for home.

I don't know how that store stays in business. I have previously purchased moldy deli cheese there for my grandma's Christmas basket, and a two-years-past-date jar of mayonnaise.

That place is like a commercial version of my mom's downstairs closet that was the home of my four-year-old ranch dressing.


Sioux said...

Maybe that's an old lady thing. My mother-in-law is notorious for having long-ago expired salad dressing.

You know, old ladies that are retired... Anyone who's retired is ancient and over-the-hill.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Oh, you must mean old ladies that are retired, like my sister the ex-mayor's wife!

THAT'S why people think I'M the younger sister. Or so she says.